Our Lady of the Skin Condition
Our Lady of the Skin Condition

Oh…oh Mary. Maybe we need to get you some antibiotics or something, that doesn’t look good at all. In fact, it looks a bit like the late 80’s sneezed on her. How she can maintain her spiritual serenity while being attacked by day-glow jelly donuts, their sticky vital fluids leaking down her face to collect […]

A strange journey into the Jesuscape
A strange journey into the Jesuscape

Okay, file this one under “not a horror.” But it was a quirky journey into someone’s devotional space, and I was glad to have the ride! Unfortunately the pictures just…didn’t turn out, I was snapping photos of a tiny piece of art under a thick smudgy bottle and my camera’s the Cannon budget special, so…please […]

Blessed lord of the barnacles
Blessed lord of the barnacles

We’re sort of having a collision of stories here. One part “Station 12, Jesus Dies Upon the Cross.” One part “Venus on the Half Shell.” I’m really not having a problem with the collision of imagery, so much as I am with the three-foot-high barnacles. You’d need an awful lot of lemon butter to make […]

Inexplicable Hearts II
Inexplicable Hearts II

I love you, you know I do. But I’ve got to leave a little room in my heart for Jesus. Jesus, and a few roses, maybe a daisy. And a clock, with kind of a butterfly instead of a sweep second hand So, basically, there really ISN’T room in my heart for you, but there […]

Would you trust this priest?
Would you trust this priest?

So I thought to myself, “how can I best make fun of a cuddly stuffed priest?” Would I talk about his special “cliff’s notes” bible, which only has the four important pages? I’m pretty sure you could get the high points in four pages with big felt letters. Ten commandments, check. Garden of Eden, check. […]

Dark, weird angel
Dark, weird angel

Angel? Demon? Mutant? We reserve judgement. To be honest, we’re not really certain what gender we are looking at. We believe this to be a female, a female what is still one of those great unanswereds, like “Why does god allow Paris Hilton?” and “How will we overcome ADHD this week?” About the wing. It […]

Jesii, part deux
Jesii, part deux

I knew I was supposed to do something today…what was it? Something…something…Ach, it’s going to be hanging over my head all day! One of my favorite things about the “Last Supper” picture is how it looks like one of the Marys has grabbed a camera, and everybody’s squeezing to get into the shot—that, and how […]

Never enough Jesii
Never enough Jesii

Well, they do. And sometimes you just have to tell the world, using a simple woodburning kit and a block of leftover oak. In the artist’s defense (I don’t know the artist, but let’s just call her “Marjorie”) this was probably one of a number of “projects” you could do at camp. But what kind […]

Blessed St. Sparkletoes
Blessed St. Sparkletoes

Saint Thuribaldi Alphonso Sparkletoes (1278 AD-1322 AD) is only a recent addition to the hagiography, his contribution to the church hasn’t been recognized until the last few years, when the Holy See finally got a sense for footwear and a well-turned heel. Sparkletoes was beatified only a few years after his death—clearly his death was […]

Please buy my pre-bagged children
Please buy my pre-bagged children

“Please buy my fine, pre-bagged children. You will never again, this side of home furnishings, find a collection of children quite this deliciously cooperative. Lay your feet upon them. They’re okay with this. Chopsticks? Chopsticks the size of railroad ties? Sure. That’s why they’re here. That’s why I’m selling them…to you.” “You have that ‘thinking […]