It’s been a bit of time. I took this picture in the summer of 2011, and for the life of me, I don’t know why this cat a chest valve. Or is it a keyhole? If you turn him on, does his engine purr? Okay, not a horror by any stretch, but I was really […]
This is a little more “Jackson Pollack on a Bad Day” and a little less “Medical Catastrophe.” Not no medical catastrophe, just less. The poor thing still doesn’t have a face, and that’s sad. …and yet, I can’t shake the feeling that it’s staring at me. I know, it’s absurd, it has all the perceptive […]
I can’t help but notice we haven’t had any kittens here in a while. Frankly the kittens probably appreciate the time off. From the “adopt me, put me out of my misery” section, right next to tupperware. This is the Victorian chimney sweep of amateur paint job cats. There is nothing right with him. The […]
Stranger? How long has it been since you looked at a kitten and cried a single tear of existential despair? Well, that’s been too long! No, we are not a happy kitten. No element of our existence is pleasant. Firstly, we have something very much like measles, or possibly chicken pox, or some other pox. […]
Oh the things you find at Goodwill’s “Blue Hanear.” It’s kind of the place where thrift goes to die–vast bins of overstock, fractured ceramics, broken microwaves, and whatever the heck they couldn’t sell roll in, and move out the door for like $1.00 a pound. When a new aisle full of fresh bins open up, […]
Here’s the sad, sad story of the cats at the lav. When I saw this picture, I HAD to have it. It had drama. It had joy, it had anger. It had kilts. But mostly, it had cat people who really had to pee, and that, friends, is art. As it happens, my mother lives […]
This is the cat that gave up. That’s it, it’s time to go to sleep. We no longer care about performing useful services like keeping the house pest-free, playing with yarn, or even making sure our nostrils are on straight. No, we are throwing in the catnip ball, because we have met the mouse. We have […]
Something went powerful wrong at the cat factory last week. It wasn’t every day that the corpses of dead cats lurched to their feet in a stumbling mockery of life, mewling their alien hunger to the uncaring, breathing world. Really, it was only Wednesdays, because Wednesday was zombie cat day, had been for years. But […]
“After I ate the SIXTH cake I was this big.” This cat is intense. Those are the eyes of a cat who’s eaten one too many cans of dollar store tuna. Cans that she tore open with her teeth. And then, twitching under the feverish influence of discount seafood, she popped open a copy of […]
Once again, I’ve let the kittens pile up, and I apologize. Take them, they’re yours. It’s not widely known that Bastet, the goddess of perfume and cats, and Anubis, the Egyptian god of embalming, had a son, and that he was the Egyptian god of Cool—thus, the name Hep. Frankly Egyptologists only recently learned that […]