At first, I kind of liked Professor Read-A-Lot. He had, frankly, a pretty awesome moustache, and I always found a man with a slide-rule extremely attractive. And mom said that I should always trust someone wearing a lab coat and nothing else, and this was the first time it came up. He seemed to have a […]
I don’t know what horrible disease this poor cat got. A really bad case of 50s diner aesthetic, perhaps. Or maybe a good old-fashion drowning, complete with ruffled billowing drapery for that “Ophelia” look. Only with more bubbles, and a ghastly oxygen-deprived pallor instead of Ophie’s creamy off-white. Protip: Nobody’s modesty is preserved by a pair […]
The mouse is doing what we have all done: starring in his own private 80s teen movie. Only difference is, in real life the ending wasn’t written by John Hughes, you really could get dressed up in your best (rented) tux, stand outside her house with a boombox, and not get the girl–just lose your […]
Wanted to end a week of bunnies on a high note, and this sweet little piece qualifies. This is the last moment the couple had of peace and quiet, the next picture in the series was filled with rabbit pups. Is that what you call a baby rabbit? Anyway. It’s beautiful when two souls come […]
The poor thing clearly has some sort of condition. One that made his entire body break out into tiny pink donuts. Or those little pink and yellow gummy rings, very seasonal, and probably pretty tasty, but if you’re covered with them, you might want to see a specialist. In the last scene of the  movie adaptation of […]
Okay, maybe it’s a goose. But let’s not split hairs. The important thing is, it’s a large, buoyant waterfowl, and it’s wearing a swim suit. It’s kind of like the trophy for the 2014 Faintly Awkward Olympic games, which will, like last time, be held in London. Last time, and indeed, every time. Work it for the […]
I don’t know what you heard, but the most dangerous game is actually sea unicorns. Firstly, they can only be caught by scuba-diving virgins, which is a bit of a subset of a subset. And when you get right up to them, you really realize that a mask won’t do a lot of good against […]
First rule of daycare: do not let bears into the nursery. I don’t care how cute they pretend to be–and a bear can be pretty cute, from a distance anyway. Up close they’re a little jowly and smell of bear–you don’t want them near the cribs. It’s like a buffet at the most litigious restaurant […]
Carrots. Just … just give ’em here. Really. I’ll stop any time I want to, no worries. Just three or four more. Six, tops. Maybe eight. Seriously, though, it’s not like it’s a thing, I just like carrots. I’m not hurting anybody or nothing, I just…look, buddy, just give me a bag of Bird’s Eye […]
Gentle readers, we ask you now to lower your standards, just a touch, as we lean back and try to get away from this tribute to Easter. Do these guys look just a bit deep-fried, puffy and golden to anyone else? Is it just me? It might be. Easter is nothing if not scantily clad […]