Oh Garfield, No
Oh Garfield, No

I don’t know what horrible disease this poor cat got. A really bad case of 50s diner aesthetic, perhaps. Or maybe a good old-fashion drowning, complete with ruffled billowing drapery for that “Ophelia” look. Only with more bubbles, and a ghastly oxygen-deprived pallor instead of Ophie’s creamy off-white. Protip: Nobody’s modesty is preserved by a pair […]

Your god for the day
Your god for the day

We are not here today to make fun of someone else’s religion. Unless their current manifestation of the divine has HUGE STARING EYES, in which case perhaps we are. Granted, no god translates well as a marionette (unless they already came with an operating cross, and they’re probably tired of that joke, thank you very […]

THEM II
THEM II

The two great motifs here at Thrifthorror: shell art and clowns. These weird creatures are a distant third. I think they may be some sort of fungus, with a broad cap. Sort of a puffball, or something in the criminy family. Eventually their caps burst and they distribute their spores across the winds, and they sprout […]

Good lord, they’re everywhere
Good lord, they’re everywhere

I saw some creepy horror movie anthology last night where the main character was stalked by dolls…surrounded by dolls…eventually BECAME a doll. Now I’m seeing the darn things everywhere…hideous little mannikins, their faces painted like mimes on a sugar rush. Thank god I can always retreat to the relative safety of Texas Thrift. No. Oh, […]

Creepy doll, creepier snowman
Creepy doll, creepier snowman

Okay, so she’s not exactly a Christmas doll, but a little bit of red and green, she’s holding a baby, not that much of a stretch. Anyway, I want her out of my photo queue, she’s really bothering me. It’s those eyes.  Those pimento-stuffed-olive eyes. The tiny stick-like T-Rex arms, they also bother me. Weirdly wedge-shaped head […]

Ticklewiggles and Hos
Ticklewiggles and Hos

Have an absolutely psychotic holiday this year!   Not sure what happened. They drove a few nails into the snowman’s head and he flipped out. He was sawing the head off the light-up Rudolf in the front yard muttering “all work and no play makes Frosty a dull boy!” At least until the temperature hit […]

So hot. So very hot.
So hot. So very hot.

I wonder many things about this particular doll genre. Mostly, I wonder why Thrift Down on Manchacha always has one of these somewhere in the shop. Look for her, if you see her you get a 20% discount on linens and small appliances. No, I wonder why anyone would wear that in Texas. Look at […]

Pure enthusiasm! Yes!
Pure enthusiasm! Yes!

EEEEEeeeeee!!!!! These are the best flowers EVER!!! And I’ve been shelved under “brick-a-brack?” How cool is that?!? Yes! Markdown! I’ve never met anyone who was THIS happy to be $5.99. Except someone who was originally $2.99, and got the upgrade package. So, that scene in Peter Pan? The one where you just thought of a wonderful […]

Tiny bottled woman
Tiny bottled woman

  So, one time I saw, in package, a “life doll.” It was really creepy–a full-sized lady person in a big plastic canister, presumably ready to assist with any number of base needs and desires, although she’d probably want to get out of her big canister first. This is kind of like that. Except instead […]

Lah, sir, pay no mind to my stupendous blossom.
Lah, sir, pay no mind to my stupendous blossom.

I know a fine gentleman such as yourself would never deign to come between a lady and her truly immense blossom. Fine breeding and the sort of manners one can only find far, far away from the Northeast engenders an aristocratic tolerance to huge, huge blooms. Now shall we disport ourselves on the verandah? Just […]