Bear with issues
Bear with issues

Those eyes. Those “come-hither, then back away slowly” eyes. You could, seriously, cut yourself on those eyelashes. Drag queens look at them and say “…oh, that’s a bit much innit?” Of course, the eyelashes, and maybe the fun little “Bollywood dance move” pose, are the only things that are remotely fabulous about this little guy–the […]

Bug people: They’ve come for your picnic
Bug people: They’ve come for your picnic

Ignore the meek, or at least inscrutable, exterior. She’s eaten three husbands this week alone. “Sex in the City” is actually kind of a horror show, if you’re a bug person. Or at least a little bug dude. Presumably the bug ladies have a more positive experience. And in fairness, killing a guy rather than […]

Da Bear (part 16)
Da Bear (part 16)

Finally: Incontrovertible proof that there is a god. Because if we were in a mechanistic universe where harsh laws, fair only in that sort of Libertarian sense of the word “fair,” dispensed fates according to “survivability” and “genetic fitness” and whatnot, this little fellow would surely have been darwinned out of existence generations ago. And […]

Chewing-gum bear and others
Chewing-gum bear and others

First a refreshing breath of copyright infringement. Obviously, it doesn’t count as flagrant trademark violation if you mold the entire thing out of chewing gum, right? Right. This blobby little pustule of a bear seems to have been carved out of a solid, massive mountain of raw “Wrigley’s Chew” ore, and left to stand in […]

Bear with me here.
Bear with me here.

The sad thing about this first guy is not so much that it’s a teddy bear made out of shells…now, that in itself is sad, because teddy bears are by their nature cute and cuddly, and making one out of cold, sharp-edged crunchy things that, when they break, become even sharper is a bit of […]