All good things…
All good things…

If somehow you haven’t quite had enough of International Clown Week (as expressed through the medium of bargain-bin brik-a-brak), do stop and visit Thrift Madness, where mental dedicated thrift gnomes have spent untold hours scrounging up an entire department of clowny badness. There’s some really “great” finds there! If, on the other hand, you’ve had […]

Of dubious provenance
Of dubious provenance

What? Another Christmas Clown? Oh, yes! Nothing goes with Christmas like clowns! Clowns and Christmas are like…spaetzle and Easter, or slide trombones and Arbor Day. Inseparable! Have pity on this little guy. Girl. Ovoid. Life’s not been kind to it. His feet are little flat pancakey flippers, barely fit to keep it from falling forward […]

Double-header
Double-header

When I went to Goodwill and saw THREE┬áleering, staring clown heads, I felt…betrayed? Violated, even? I like to think that I’ve been basically good, that I didn’t deserve this. Nobody deserved this. And that’s really the first of the seven stages of reconciliation with clown. I thought, “Maybe they weren’t clowns.” Maybe they were, I […]

Adventures in DIY Foolery
Adventures in DIY Foolery

It’s best to leave the manufacturing of clown paraphernalia to the professionals. They’ve got more practice, better economy of scale, and probably better lawyers. Really, the only thing worse than a ceramic clown with a ghastly paint job from some far-away county is a plaster clown with a ghastly, cheap paint job from right here. […]

It’s for the best
It’s for the best

You wouldn’t want them roaming free, would you? Just the LICENSED clowns are bad enough. Maybe not everyone’s old enough to remember the “funny” old days, where you couldn’t walk two blocks without getting offered a cheap jape, drawn up into some sort of complicated mime situation (and believe you me, nothing slows you down […]

A Celebration of Clowns
A Celebration of Clowns

…And so it begins, International Clown Week. Not surprisingly, you can blame Nixon for this. That is, you can blame Nixon for International Clown Week, not for the crimes perpetrated in the name of clowns. Let’s get into the spirit of this thing! So, clowns. They’re not really funny. This is an observation with all […]

Happy 4th!
Happy 4th!

To celebrate Independence Day, this mischievous little merry-andrew has decapitated Founding Father and statesman Benjamin Franklin! Such a rapscallion! Last year he dressed up in the skin of Thomas Paine for a comedic reading of The Age of Reason. Comedy gold! Don’t make eye contact. This one is so far down in the “Clowns Aren’t […]

DIY Clowning
DIY Clowning

It’s just common sense that most clowns are going to be hand-made by talented amateurs. No-one goes pro and makes whimsical clown miniatures, right? Don’t disillusion me on this one. I want to believe in a rational universe. If someone leans back, looks into the sky, and says, “I’ve got it, business plan: sell clowns,” […]