From the new hit film, “Fifty Shades of Flipper.” See it in your local theater. They call him Flipper. Flipper–flipcuffs restraining, No one you see, ties knots tight as he… Although I’d be happier if there were knots in this intimate little tableaux, as opposed to just a gold chain and two mid-sternum attachment points. I didn’t […]
Technically they’re not cherubim. Cherubim are awesome angelic beast-things Putti are horrible pink lumps with wings. And the stuff they get up to around Valentine’s Day, it’s…just weird. like reenacting “The Drowning of Ophelia” with a horrible pedophilia/seafood vibe. What’s this? Some sort of beautiful woman/girl/boy/larva? Either way, s/he/it’s torpid and I’m armed. I could […]
“At one time we were wicked, but…he Saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior…” That’s by way of explanation, but I’m not really sure what we’re explaining. Except there are sure as heck a lot of these […]
Collectible teapots. They’re presumably a thing. When I went to the big retail gift marts I’d see them by the shelf. They’d look like flowers. Like sexy celebrities. Like food. Just so many. But they never really looked like something you’d want to pour tea out of. Take Mrs. Chipmunk here. If that happened to […]
So there’s some elements of this that make no damned sense to me. The title of the original masterwork is “A Perfect Fit,” as you can plainly see here: This will be the last thing that makes sense for a little while yet. I’m just glad that one of the shepherds there can do my […]
Apparently, too much spinach-artichoke dip does something to your head, because these appetizer dish sets just get weird. Take this guy, a sort of weird fractal snow-bot. Seems kind of complicated, just to hold guacamole. Ew. A guacamole-filled snowman? The world isn’t ready for that. Anyway. Having recently seen Gamara, I imagine this fellow spinning through space on […]
I think I was joking about the shepherds and the angels singing “Be Thou Not Afraid!” Not this time. Be afraid. Be rather a lot afraid. This is from a little-known story–it’s in the Apocrypha, the Infancy Gospel of James actually–about the Miracle of the Empty Buckets. In my church we’d celebrate it usually on […]
This…this is a useful metaphor. No matter how safe you feel in your pope-style force bulletproof bubble, even the one with the padded floor, the only sure thing is that we’ll all fall off our big brass hook–okay, it gets a little muddled, not sure what that means–and lose a leg. Maybe it’s behind the couch. […]
Those eyes. Those “come-hither, then back away slowly” eyes. You could, seriously, cut yourself on those eyelashes. Drag queens look at them and say “…oh, that’s a bit much innit?” Of course, the eyelashes, and maybe the fun little “Bollywood dance move” pose, are the only things that are remotely fabulous about this little guy–the […]
Even if. You know. There was that terrible accident. It’s hard to read the Savior’s expression here, although I am digging on the hair. On the one hand, total 60s American folk singer look, with that strangely leonine hair and beard. Although if you just kind of put your hand over the picture he looks […]