Jog to the world, and all that! It’s time to clean house, take down the lights, and get to the crucial business of 2012! I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I have a weak spot for Balthazar. Traditionally, since he’s from Africa, he’s the only black member of the nativity. And therefore, the only […]
Yet another Christmas decapitation. This is probably a DIRECT consequence of having the entire Yuletide police force made out of elves. Friends don’t let friends be resin-cast. When you get into a car this Christmas, make sure you’re ceramic. “Giant festive cookie-man” is actually a new category for me. I don’t think I’ll set up […]
“Kid, I have been doing this for, like, 1900 years. Frankly, I don’t care if you’ve been naughty, or nice, or if Livejournal shut down your page because of their new obscenity laws. I’m dumping this crap here, and you’re going to get it. Whatever the hell it is, you better hope it’s one size […]
The dangers of a heavily-seriffed font in the wrong hands! Let that be a warning. Or, maybe you WANTED to have a merth Christmas. To each their own, I suppose. Santa and his impossibly narrow reindeer were part of a set of pencil-thin Christmas decorations–I don’t really have a better word than decorations. Sadly, both […]
New Year’s Day, and we’ve finally gotten the dogs to come out from underneath the sofa. Hope everybody had their requisite amounts of pyrotechnics, champagne, and black-eyed peas last night! Or at least one out of three. This little guy’s clearly had his fill of consumer-grade explosives for the year. This WAS in the Christmas […]
Pity the man made entirely of fruitcake. Is it the bigger tragedy that he might be eaten, or that no-one will eat him? I wonder if there’s a series of these, little dudes dressed up like all the major Christmas treats. Like Ciderman (a bit like the Kool-Aid Man, though instead of bursting through your […]
I heard an interesting little article on National Public Radio a while back about one of the last snowglobe repair people on the planet. How he carried different kinds of goo and snow and little festive parts, and knew how to replace dirty snow globe “water” with fresh, even transparent, versions of same, so that […]
The Christmas it snowed blood, oh, what a year that was. Grandfather would often tell us stories about those long-ago blood-christmasses, how the world was covered in a thick carpet of red gore, and when the moon shown on it just right, late at night, it was kinda…kinda horrible. We thought those special Christmasses were […]
Sheriff Santa–protector of the North Pole’s Wild West. Which, technically, is South, because…well, there are diagrams. Anyway. Santa doesn’t like people to see him like this. Because, when you’re spanning the globe at roughly 650 miles per second, in an open sleigh behind a bunch of reindeer, you’re not a right jolly old elf by […]
I really think the “wet loops like a soft serve” look just never quite works. Particularly with the sparkles. The overall effect is as if one of Santa’s elves had a little emergency, right in the middle of Savers’s housewares section. Really, he should have tried to hold it until he got to the romance […]