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Worst Santa Ever

Poor Santa. At some point–probably when he was sliding down the chimney–his face came off.

12-26-13GWMetrSanta3

It doesn’t help that this particular Santa was made out of papier-mâché and bathroom grout (old bathroom grout, not that fancy new stuff from the tube). Or that he’s molding slightly, or formed from a single piece of ancient chewing gum, molded into a vaguely santoid construct. Or, of course, that his face was sanded off. That’s unlovely.

Here’s Santa’s bag.

12-26-13GWMetrSanta1

It is filled with sadness, or maybe very old stew. A dead cat, perhaps, though that seems unlikely. Maybe a small white mouse. Alive. Delicate and precise in its movements, with shining lack eyes. These are the things that keep Faceless Santa company.

12-26-13GWMetrSanta2

There are no words to Santa’s endless song. Merely a high, endless wail. Like the “loo looo” song at the end of “It’s Christmas Charlie Brown”…forever.

Faceless Santa: Goodwill on Metric and 183, Austin

December 30, 2014   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized 12days2014, broked, Christmas

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