I have never wanted anything more in life than to smell like a Trojan’s head. I can understand the need to market men’s cosmetics in a way that makes them, well, manly. But I don’t think this was the way to go.
Also, when you’re done with your eau de legionnaire be sure to donate the bottle to your local thrift store. It lightens your heart, and maybe someone can use it for salad dressing or something. Didn’t Greek warriors rub themselves down with olive oil? If they didn’t, they should have.
…I don’t know where I was going there. So here’s a Montana Fur-Bearing Gator.
Apparently it gets so cold in the north that the alligators that come to the state–presumably from the New York sewer systems–have to grow a coat of thick fur to survive.
Either that, or a crocodile had its way with a porcupine, and this is the alarming result. Only a crocodile could be that desperate. Only a crocodile would survive the experience. The porcupine is in therapy, and doing well, thanks for your concern.
Are you looking at me? Are you looking at ME?!
The Trojan Bottle from defunct Goodwill on Stassney and Manchaca, gator from Goodwill on 183 and Metric.