…or flavored oil.
After spending god knows how many hours in the brik-a-brack section at Goodwill, I no longer am able to distinguish madness from flavored oil. One is pretty much the same as the other, and I’m convinced that deep in the back rooms of World Market there’s a trio of level three projective schizophrenics out of “The Ring” (the book, not the movie, trust me it totally makes sense) sending out their strange madness vibes onto massive stacks of garlic, slivered peppers, and for some reason corn.
What’s the point of adding corn? Really.
But sometimes, like Niezche said, when you gaze into the botulism-ridden thrift store “gourmet” oil, the oil gazes back at you. Or something like that.
Years ago, I made a solemn vow never to put ANYTHING on my salad that wasn’t perfectly symmetric. The upside of this is that now I don’t have to eat salad, and can waste my calories on amorphous things like mashed potatoes or deliciously irregular pork chops. But now, I’m having doubts.
Because someone managed to recreate the Eye of Sauron in carrots and bay leaves.
I’m pretty sure no-one asked them to. “Bay leaves, orange peal, carrots, and ancient and foul evil. Make it happen!” they didn’t say. And yet, the infinite monkeys with infinite vegetables were able to accomplish what was hitherto thought–well, not impossible, certainly, but unwise.
We here at ThriftHorror do not advise ANYONE to EVER put anything from Goodwill on their salad, no matter how perfectly and tantalizingly symmetric it may be.
Goodwill near Anderson Mill on 183, Austin