Springtime! Spring is just around the corner, and that means it’s time to take your poodle for a walk! And by “walk” I mean an awkward stiff-legged gait like the genuinely life-like strut of an Egyptian frieze. And by “poodle” Â I mean a weird beast sculpted out of shaving foam, with a cherry on top.
One of the most consistent traits of thrift store found art is its utter two-dimensionality. Seriously, these things have less of a sense of perspective than Fox’s morning show. If you shifted the angle just slightly, poodle, walker, and even field would just slide off the weird blue sheet they’re cellotaped to. There would be screaming and barking, but it, too, would be weirdly flat.
Oh, that wasn’t a cherry on whipped cream. That was a cute little rose on a dog wearing lipstick. That makes MUCH more sense. Lady, I think you need to clean your dress a bit, it’s got “poodle” on it.
Okay, secretly I really like this picture. I love her attitude, her incredibly sharp pointy shoes, the strange chitinous armor protecting her abdomen, and what looks like one of those little flying hamburger patties from that one episode of Star Trek with the flying, brain-eating hamburger patty monsters. I’d post a link, but “star trek flying hamburger patty” is a surprisingly useless search. I love her vacant expression, higher than Carrie Fisher on Life Day. And I’m kicking myself for not buying her when I saw her over at Texas Thrift. So I’m just going to make fun of her now.
That which we cannot possess, we destroy.