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Do not adjust your monitor.

I promise, this is not upside-down.

Do you remember when your mom got you a copy of “Highlights for Children?” Or maybe you found it in the dentist’s office, there was usually a copy there on that corner shelf. I don’t know, I’m obviously not you. About halfway through there’d be a games section, and there was the puzzle where you tried to find 20 things wrong with this picture.

I am going somewhere with this, really.

1-30-14Gw183Horse3

There is NOTHING that makes sense here.

A little background story, the first “thrifthorror”–I still have it–was a snowglobe nativity scene, and when you swirled it around, Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus would go WHEEEEE and fly around in a glitterstorm. Awesome. So messed up snow-globes have a special place in my heart. Sometimes the base comes unmoored and the thing rotates and settles on the “roof” of its globe world.

And yet, I don’t think that’s what happened here.

No matter how you look at it, this is wrong.

Not just because it looks like it was composed of taffeta and mint-flavored ribbon candy, though that gives it a top-heavy look that is most unsettling. No, it’s the horse. Here, let’s do our best to flip it right-way-up.

1-30-14Gw183Horse1

Quick! Try and find 20 things that are RIGHT with this picture! The horse is spinning around on the merry-go-round, waving its legs in the air like a dead goldfish gone belly up…but of course with legs, and hooves, and a wacky coronation dress. No! It’s just all wrong! The ground is on the ceiling, and the horse is endlessly running through space stapled to the sky? I don’t know. I just don’t know.

1-30-14Gw183Horse2

Someone please tell me they’re seeing this too, because I’m really disturbed and a little nauseated by this. I need to sit down.

Goodwill on 183 and Metric, Austin

March 12, 2014   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized aminals, Best Of, broked, huh?

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