A little Halloween wrap-up with two of the most hideous things I’ve seen at Goodwill. This time, though, it’s intentional.
The snakes worry me. The overall expression, I am, yes, concerned by it, he certainly looks like he sat on a tack and will now bite your face off. But mostly, I’m very concerned by the teeth.
They’re real teeth. And they’re not very well situated. If this guy flipped out, bounced across the shelf and sank his teeth into me, he’d probably leave several of them behind. In fact, maybe that’s how it breeds, and its teeth grow into horrid little fingerpuppets that skitter around in the Toys section, biding their time.
I cannot easily express how uncomfortable this makes me. IF there was a chart from one to five, I’d have to pick “hide behind the chart and exist in a state of denial.” Appropriate behavior for an election season!
Now, from the horrifying to the just weird–
For the record, this was heavy. You couldn’t wear it unless you’d been powerlifting with your cheeks, and then you’d have to work to keep it from tipping nose-forward.
Is there some formal occasional where this is the only appropriate accessory? I hope so. The people demand “coattail and horrible snake-covered leering mask” parties. Tie optional.
Not sure what the chin-button is. I pressed it, he didn’t sing, and his eyes failed to light up. He did kind of list to the side with a good resonant “Clunk” sound, but that’s not exactly an interactive experience, really.
All of this reminds me, I have a dental appointment next Thursday. I should probably get back onto my flossing.
Scary teeth mask from the Salvation Army on 183 and Anderson Mill; snakes-and-tusks from Goodwill on 2222 and Lamar, Austin
One Response to “The mask does not improve”
Hmm. There are some masks from New Guinea at the New Orleans Museum of Art that have human teeth. Those might be horse or goat teeth though . . . .