Whatever your holiday plans are, the four-legged turkey does not approve. And he is an angry god.
In a way, this is appealingly minimalist. Just the turkey elements are preserved–horrible red wattle, seasonally colorful plumage (and I LOVE the purple, this must be one of those beautiful tropical turkeys I’ve heard so much about), wings. The rest is just pine, which is kind of a pity, there’s some good eating on the parts that fade into lumber, but such is life.
Colorful angry turkey: Tremble before his googly-eyed wrath!
In the spirit of the “hand-turkey” (instructions are here if you managed to avoid any elementary school craft sessions in the United States), his head is, basically, a thumb. And that’s okay, because all turkey’s heads are thumbs. And from my brief experience raising turkeys, thumbs are brighter.
But this isn’t about the head, it’s about the legs.
If there was a thanksgiving version of “Happy Feet,” this bird would either be cast on the spot for the lead role, or forcibly ejected from the studio. Three legs? Four legs? a cushion of legs like a centipede? Awesome. I wanted to say “think of the drumsticks” but frankly, they look missable, more like buffalo wings than the big RenFest drumsticks my family fights over. Sure, everybody can have one, but they’ll be hungry afterward.
To my Statesian friends, have a lovely day and enjoy your food coma!
Goodwill on 183 and Metric, Austin