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Tasteful Sideboob (NSFW)

I’m not entirely sure how to feel about this first piece. It is, almost definitionally, objectifying the female form. I’m just not entirely certain what the object is. Possibly it’s objectifying it into some sort of bottle opener, or maybe a shoehorn, some other household tool. I bet it would get great reception.

But, really, does any woman want their bosom uplifted, but their head turned into a Magritte painting of an olive? And then to be condemned to shuffle on tiny, stick-like legs on top of a somewhat larger olive, so that their entire existence is trapped between two olives, one of which is their head? No, I wouldn’t think so. Such a fate Zeus wouldn’t wish on a corrupt olive oil salesperson.

4-30-11GWcompsthing1

Is it a good idea to pose nude against a background that’s the same color as you? Would your life become some sort of ambiguous bluescreen melange, where your identity is suggested only by a vague, shadowy outline, and your hair. Your hair which becomes luridly bright, even if it was the most natural of colors, because it, and only it, stands out, gives you any sense of identity. Because in this watery simulation of a world, you’re basically your hair.

5-30-10SvrsNBoob1

“Sweetie…I’ve been posing for this for like an hour…promise me you’re not going to draw me floating in a skin-tone void on a giant banana leaf, with one breast poking at an oblique degree angle from my rib cage so that I look like Yul Brynner is trying to escape my torso?”

“…promise.”

What’s the verdict?

5-22-10GWMtrcMrr

Bery pretty.

Torso from Goodwill on I35 and 290; Strangely blodgey lady painting from Goodwill on Metric and 183, Austin

September 26, 2012   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized bad art, NSFW

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5 Responses to “Tasteful Sideboob (NSFW)”

  1. Reply
    hotclaws / 26 Sep 2012 6:18am #

    So uniboobs are in this year.

  2. Reply
    Brunettepet / 26 Sep 2012 8:50am #

    Uniboob is imperious and slightly threatening. It would make an awesome murder weapon.

  3. Reply
    thrifteerrr / 26 Sep 2012 8:22pm #

    You need to check out Wells Branch Goodwill, they have a BDSM face mask right now, they think it’s a costume, they even have it on Display.

  4. Reply
    Reo / 3 Oct 2012 11:16pm #

    Gidday! Found you thru a reccomendation on the Regretsy forums! XD Bookmarked for future, possibly slightly tiddly, laughs.
    My 0.99c worth- On the African String-wrapped Lady, the big bump is actually her butt. But I can see it as a Uniboob too. Hell, I can make it switch at wiil.

    • Reply
      TV's Jacob / 4 Oct 2012 8:36am #

      Hi, Reo, glad you like! I feel a certain kinship with the Regretsy mindset. I’m pretty sure my original inspiration was an Ebay Horrors column. Take care!

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