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Clown! CLOWN!

This may be the single most horrifying clown I’ve ever seen. And the worst part of it is, it’s actually not that bad a paint job–but someone actually, intentionally, painted this.

Maybe it wasn’t intentional. Maybe they thought, “oh, red nose. Peaked eyebrows over white eyes. Yes. Yes. This is coming along quite clownishly.” And then, they added some master stroke–my bet would be the black lipstick, or maybe the somehow sinister twinkle in its eye, and that one dot of fatal ink kicked it over from “a bit jolly, a bit disturbing” to “Chucky from ‘Child’s Play.'”

Here he is, ladies and gentlemen. In the center ring.

6-30-11GW2222Clown1

I challenge you to find a clown more likely to give Bart Simpson nightmares than this guy. Good luck with that.

6-30-11GW2222Clown2

I think what sets him apart from the run-of-the-mill buffoons is the one lazy eye. It adds a dazed, somewhat corpsey tone to the overall effect. “When I can get both my eyes on you, little girl, it’ll be too late to run!” sort of thing. We understand that a great deal of effort went into painting this clown. We also understand that Hitler was something of an amateur painter, and while we are not drawing any undue comparisons, we believe the reader will discern the logical conclusion that there is something very dark inside a painter.

Goodwill on 2222 and Lamar, Austin

February 3, 2012   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized clowns

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4 Responses to “Clown! CLOWN!”

  1. Reply
    Brandy / 3 Feb 2012 1:19pm #

    I posted on Facebook, but I just have to reiterate here how GROSS those “gum” lines are! OMG!

    My friend Mary and I LOVE your blog and would be honored to have you guest post on our blog Rewind Knits and Crochet, talking about all the horrific knit and crochet goodness you’ve found in your thrifty travels. If you are open to it we can talk specifics via email or pm on Facebook. Let us know! :)

  2. Reply
    Brunettepet / 3 Feb 2012 10:04pm #

    Oh, hell, I was about to go to bed. This guy is certain to haunt my dreams. Bart and I can cower together…

  3. Reply
    Alice / 8 Feb 2012 7:23am #

    I buy this scent called “Can’t Sleep Clowns Will Eat Me” – it smells really good and appears to have worked as far as clowns not eating me. http://www.isleofeden.com (I am not affiliated with this company only want to share what has held off the clowns)

  4. Reply
    Alice / 8 Feb 2012 7:25am #

    PS Their web site sucks. I can only hope they carry this scent still.

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