Not everybody’s cut out for Santa’s workshop. Sure, it’s mostly happy-go-lucky fun and gingerbread-dances, but there’s a couple wee little guys out there that don’t get to help make toys (and, as a consequence, don’t get to come to the gingerbread-dances, because Santaland is a meritocracy. Nobody ever said Christmas was fair, just look at what your sister got last year.)
This guy–or girl, I really can’t tell with elves–really hasn’t been the same since the incident with the Slot. You remember how you’re not supposed to lean out the window on the bus, or stand up on the roller coaster, or disable the safety on the food processor with a bent paperclip and then explain to your sister how you feel about Christmas stocking disparity, and the magic food fairy at the bottom of the Cuisinart? That’s pretty much the Slot in a nutshell.
Coins go into the Slot. If you’re lucky, folded up fivers go into the Slot, though that is something of a rarity.
Arms…arms do not go in.
Goodwill on 183 and Metric, Austin
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