This here’s a little something from the “why did they frame that?” bin. And the “why did they donate that?” bin, too, which runneth over.
Odds are, nobody’s going to frame Grandpa’s EKG, and this PROBABLY isn’t a seismograph taken in Los Angeles before “The Big One.” This almost certainly is a printout of Baby’s First Heart Murmur. “Oh look, sweetie, he has your arrhythmia.” I would be much more impressed if the cheerful orange daisies lined up with the ventricular contraction. Frankly, the entire thing is just thick with shoddy workmanship. The next time Grannie embroiders tiny little floral runners to edge her grandchild’s heartbeat diagram, tell that old dame to show some EFFORT. Really.
…And then they give it to Goodwill. Of all the precious moments that you’d care to toss, this one tells a story of dashed hopes that puts any number of high school “LOVE YOU SHERRIE” oil paintings to bed without first base. I should have kept this one for the centerpiece of a dadaist “pro life” wall, next to the scary picture of Torso Baby and the Red Wagon. We always think of these things months too late.
Â Goodwill on 2222 and Lamar, Austin
3 Responses to “Electroencephalograph, sweet electroencephalograph”
Oh, but his heart is in the right place!
electroencephalogram is a scan of brain waves. Brain wave tracings look like continuous zigzags. Electrocardiogram is of the heart – that is a heart tracing.
Derivatives of the EEG technique include evoked potentials (EP), which involves averaging the EEG activity time-locked to the presentation of a stimulus of some sort (visual, somatosensory, or auditory). Event-related potentials (ERPs) refer to averaged EEG responses that are time-locked to more complex processing of stimuli;:^’,
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