“After I ate the SIXTH cake I was this big.”
This cat is intense. Those are the eyes of a cat who’s eaten one too many cans of dollar store tuna. Cans that she tore open with her teeth. And then, twitching under the feverish influence of discount seafood, she popped open a copy of Tammy Faye Bakker’s Cosmetic Secrets and went to town. These things seem like good ideas when you’re tripping on tuna.
Oh…but regarding that sixth cake? View her in all her glory.
“The oompa-loompas will just roll her out to the juicing room. For squeezing.”
It took me a while to figure this one out. I couldn’t place where I’d seen this cat before. I think it was the false eyelashes, glitter-green eyeliner, and feather boa, but the decadent velvet brocade, funny squishy hat, and INCREDIBLE GIRTH tipped me off.
It’s Henry the Eighth.
No, hear me out. Henry was slightly taller when he was lying down than when he was standing up. And that man could definately wear his gold brocade.
Seperated at birth? I think so.
Bad kittens are sent to the fourth circle of hell, where demons nail evil demonic minnows to their noses and tear off three of their legs. when they try to swat the fish away, they fall over. And how the minnows laugh.
Not sure why the cat’s wearing a gay pride skullcap. One of those weird gay cat monks, I guess. He may be part snail, thus the eyes.
So basically, if you want a one-legged, gay snail-cat, Goodwill’s got you covered. But you knew that.
Roundest Cat Evar from Savers on South Lamar. Crazy 80s cat from Goodwill on 2222, Austin.