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Yep, one of those.

Now, if we only knew what it was. I started out pretty confident that it was a shoehorn for one of Santa’s elves, but now, not so sure.

8-4-10GW2222Thing2

You can see the source of my initial confusion. If you wanted to wedge your foot into a foot long, curly, bell-toed sort of a poulaine thing, this WOULD be the way to go. Except…well, firstly, that it seems to be covered in an aggressive, penicillen-like mold. Secondly, it was in housewares, which made no sense.

8-4-10GW2222Thing3

There are a lot of things that don’t make sense. The complex ceramic knotwork, that was a little weird. The wedge jutting off into the sky, like some sort of clay shark swimming through the plates, also a little weird. The entire thing had a marine sort of look–besides being covered in green splotches, it had a predatory sort of look, like it was hunting small fish along the sea floor, and was just about to, say, pry open a clam.

8-4-10GW2222Thing4

Eventually, just when we thought it was safe to go down aisle 6, it leaped from the shelf onto the back of a volunteer’s neck, drove a clay spike into his spinal column, and piloted the lurching monstrosity to Women’s Clothing, where it found the most god-awful vest and pantsuit combination. It was arguably the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen at Goodwill. After shopping to its heart’s (?) content, it returned to its quiescent state, but we weren’t fooled.

8-4-10GW2222Thing6

If it could shop, it could kill.

Goodwill at 2222 and Lamar, Austin

March 18, 2011   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized amorphous blobs, ceramics, huh?

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2 Responses to “Yep, one of those.”

  1. Reply
    Brunettepet / 20 Mar 2011 10:19am #

    I am putting that in my cactus garden so it can protect the cactus from predators.

  2. Reply
    Pollyanna / 24 Mar 2011 12:58am #

    It’s clearly a candle holder–the kind you hold when you go off into the dark and everyone shouts don’t go there but you can’t hear because you’re in a movie. Perhaps you’d use it in a Shjl hust.

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