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Twelfth Night

12-11-10SvrsNYOY

Y oy to you too, sir! And a merry oy to us all!

10-3-10GWStassIterativeNativity

What would have been REALLY awesome is if the nativity set on the floor contained an even smaller nativity set. And inside THAT nativity set was another one, until finally, you got to a tiny, nearly invisible nativity set, but instead of Jesus you had a very small tablet outlining the secrets of the Merovingian dynasty, the Prieuré de Sion, and the true secret of the Holy Grail.

8-20-10SA1325Santa1

This particular Santa is quite ambivilent about the whole thing. “Lights…eeeeh…I don’t know. Too many years making toys I guess, the sight of a tree covered with lights makes me a little…uh…maybe you got any Pepto-Bismol on you? Yeah, that’s the stuff. The pink stuff.”

Styling paisley nightgown, Santa! I’m really liking this new look, it’s a subtle step away from overstated red velvet!

Actually, I have it on the best authority (a well-educated 10-year-old) that this is in all probability the Russian equivalent of Santa, Father Frost, who’s often blue with complex designs on his cloak. Either way, he still looks like he accidentally ate a boll weevil. “Sorry…did that cookie taste funny to anyone else? Donder? Prancer?”

In the 80s, all of Santa’s elves were sharp, angular, and available in colors not entirely of this world.

12-5-10ThrftTnElves2

The anatomy here is…difficult to discern at best. I think little boy blue on the right has some sort of conjoined twin thing poking out of his head, to say nothing about the arm growing on his hip and the strange, trunklike way his legs fuse together at the knees. The other guy is tame by comparison, except for the way he draaaaags himself around the workshop on his head…”thump drag drag drag…’Giggle’….”

So, as a thrift reporter, I do make a special point of leaving the items essentially undisturbed, even if it would be REALLY FUNNY to swap out a few pieces here and there. I did make an exception for this one.

11-30-10GW2222Globre4

Playful Santa! After flying around the entire world in a few hours, he likes to kick back and caper around the room. No-one expects him to, but he is, after all, a right jolly old elf. And as we’ve already seen, elves really like wandering around on their heads.

11-30-10GW2222Globre1

“Don’t mind me, I’m just gonna kip up here for a few hours, kiddos. That jet lag is pretty harsh stuff–or I guess it would be Sled Lag! Ho, ho, ho!”

11-30-10GW2222Globre6

I love the way Santa drifts around the room like a downy feather before settling to the floor in a vaguely pine-and-reindeer-scented heap. It’s one of his special qualities that just doesn’t get mentioned in the songs. Except that irritating one by the same guy who did “Rudolph.”

7-1-10-1-TxThrftI35N-Wiseman1

“You go to one little Christmas party, stay up just a little too late, buy one wino’s clothes off him, and then everybody takes their camels and splits. Hello? Damn, I need some ibuprofin, this hangover’s harsh.”

Lost Balthazaar #3 from Texas Thrift on I-35, San Antonio. Whimsical Snow Globe from Goodwill on 2222. Dyspeptic Russian Santa from Salvation Army on 1325 in Round Rock, “Y Oy!” from Savers on North Burnet, strangely iterative nativity from Goodwill near Stassney and Manchacha and the weird little punk elves next door at Thrift Town. A belated merry Christmas!

January 5, 2011   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized 12 Days 2010, bad art, broked, Christmas, juxtapositions, San Antonio

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