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Most Awesome Wellies Evar!

I hope the artist that made this majestic footwear is out there because, really, nice boots. I want to know the person that made these. I kind of want to know if they’re single, because whoever they are, they are magic.

5-31-10GWStassBoots2

YES! Tattoopunk galoshes, and they’re hot pink! These boots really sing! Lordy, if those notes weren’t actually painted on, they’d be the loudest footwear EVER.

5-31-10GWStassBoots1

If I owned these, I would not come out of the house unless it was raining. Because 1) I would never take them off, and 2) you wouldn’t want to wear galoshes if it wasn’t raining, that would be silly.

5-31-10GWStassBoots4

…There are some kinds of inner pain you can only express…through galoshes.. The pain of a broken heart. The loss of a loved one. Not getting the third number on “Powerball.” Daytime TV. These…these are galoshes wounds.

5-31-10GWStassBoots3

Not sure about that arrow, though. There’s a message here that says “look up. No, keep looking up. My eyes are up here. Actually, my eyes are also on my galoshes, but there may well be another pair three to six feet upward. But I can understand it if you just look at my galoshes. Many do.”

The danger here is that these shoes are so AWESOME that, to properly let the world see their full glory, you’d have to learn to walk on your hands and wave your gloriously-shod feet in the air, which is probably a great workout, but you’d get completely and ridiculously soaked in some unusual places, which would defeat the purpose of raingear.

Or maybe…maybe you just lie back in bed on five yards of red velvet, glass of cognac in one hand, smouldering clove cigarette in the other, and say “Come in…I’m wearing my galoshes.”

Found in the Goodwill on Manchacha and Stassney, and to my eternal regret, I did not buy them :(

January 12, 2011   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized don't wear that!, huh?, Just Cool

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One Response to “Most Awesome Wellies Evar!”

  1. Reply
    Alice / 12 Jan 2011 9:37am #

    Wow – can’t believe you didn’t snatch these up…they’re amazing… although I can’t read the price tag. I might have left them there too if they were too expensive. ;)

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