This was shelved with the Halloween stuff. Maaaybe it WAS Halloween stuff. But…I’m not going to even try to guess what strange haunted house it might be from–like a “last retail quarter House of TERROR. Which seems a little esoteric for a haunted house, but Black Friday’s pretty scary.
So, disembodied limb. Check, very traditional Halloween there. Cristmassy ribbon? Oooh…kay, sure. Maybe it’s meant to be hidden up in the sleeve, so that if you wave your limp, cottony mesh hand at someone and they squeeze it and get a big “surprise” that, wow, this isn’t a real hand, even though it has a convincing band of nearly flesh tone along one side…wait, where was that sentence going? Oh. The Christmassy ribbon will be hidden in your semi-convincing scarecrow-esque flannel sleeve.
So, yeah. That’s a possibility. Then we have to explain the weird “I love mom” tattoo the scarecrow has. Any takers?
A hideous spider-turkey that spins webs, trapping innocent English peas in its cunning trap of deceit?
An indication that the turkey is SOOOO old that it’s got cobwebs?
A weird “Family Circus” cartoon where the Billy leaves a dotted line behind him, carrying him through the lair of Shelob the Spider Goddess, where he throws the One Corn into the fiery maw of the giant turkey?
Tattoo art from a biker that REALLY likes Autumn? So much that he tattoos Thanksgiving into his very flesh? I bet the other arm has “PAULA DEAN” embossed on it. There’s a yam-slinger, ooh.
So many options.
I’m really thinking this looks more like Raggedy Andy messing around with mom’s base and concealer. I’m just…not scared. Concerned, yes. But really, maybe we should move this out of Halloween and into, oh, home furnishings. Anything goes there, it’s crazy.
<I>Thrift Town, near Stassney and Manchaca, Austin</I>