Meet Sad Bear.
Once upon a time, there was a carpenter who, more than anything else, wanted to have a pet bear. Please don’t ask why, he just did. Maybe he really liked bears. But of course local livestock ordinances and restrictions wouldn’t let him keep a pet bear, even a small one, and they’re really expensive anyway ever since they shut down that chain of mall wildlife stores.
Being a clever woodcarver, he made himself a bear out of wood. Cheap, cheap wood. And when the Blue Fairy came round and brought that bear to life, he regretted using pine from the throw-away bin. He also regretted the termites, and leaning too hard on the critter when using the belt sander. In fact, he regretted a lot of things about that crazy week, but really, not as much as Sad Bear did.
As these stories go, Sad Bear himself got very lonely, too, because when he went to play with the children, they would throw heavy things at him, or in some cases, get restraining orders, and even little yappy dogs like cocker spaniels thought he was pretty messed up and there is NOTHING going on upstairs in a cocker spaniel. So the woodcarver, who hadn’t really learned his lesson, made Ball Dog.
Ball Dog wasn’t exactly the height of craftsmanship, but after the carpenter tried to throw Sad Bear into a wood chipper, they didn’t let him have tools anymore.
The Blue Fairy DID learn her lesson, and did not bring Ball Dog to life. No, no, no. This made Sad Bear even sadder.
So Sad Bear would take Ball Dog for walks around the lake, to the dog park, even dress him up in little dog sweaters, because hey, if the Blue Fairy wouldn’t put out, maybe the Nursery Magic Fairy would throw him some kind of bone. But bringing a toy’s toy to life was just way too meta.
It’d be nice if this story had a happy ending, but really, it doesn’t. Once they got donated to Goodwill, someone bought Ball Dog and used him for putting practice, and Sad Bear eventually ended up at the Goodwill Outlet, where he either sold for $1.40 a pound or got crushed under a dubious microwave oven. I’m sorry, it’s a crap story, but there you go.
(Actually, I was cropping and sharpening a bunch of photos from the Goodwill near 620 and 183, and looked up from a bunch of cuts and edits and such to see this sad little image in Photoshop. It was too tragic to let go of, so now I share it with you, and you can make up your own stories. Give Sad Bear a happy ending. He probably deserves it.)
4 Responses to “Sad Bear and Ball Dog”
If a wooden bear gets a happy ending, will that produce a little pile of sawdust?
*sigh* Well, I guess we could go down that road :)
One day, a little girl came into the Goodwill store in her little golfing outfit. “Oh, look, Mommy. This doggie is made of my favorite thing–golfing balls. Can I have him. Please, please, please?” “Of course, dear,” her mother said, very happy that she could please her daughter so much with only $.99. Then, from the other end of the shelf, the little girl cried gaily, “Mommy, Mommy, look. This little wooden bear looks just like Gunter, my old teddy bear, after the dog got aholt of him. Look, he’s just as sad, can I take him home for Gunter.” Of course, dear. “Check,” she thought, “Two items off of my Christmas list!”
I guess I can’t be surprised that you of all people would come up with the first happy ending for this one :)