What? Another Christmas Clown? Oh, yes! Nothing goes with Christmas like clowns! Clowns and Christmas are like…spaetzle and Easter, or slide trombones and Arbor Day. Inseparable!
Have pity on this little guy. Girl. Ovoid. Life’s not been kind to it. His feet are little flat pancakey flippers, barely fit to keep it from falling forward onto its face (no doubt with a whimsical honking sound.) Let it wag its little pompom arms in tiny, futile circles, it’s still guaranteed a faceplant. (Honk!)
Still, it’s come to a sort of cheerful reconciliation. If I’m going to topple forward, let it be with a big, big smile. If I’m going to fall backward, let me swing back with a graceful arch, let tiny cotton puffs swat me in the face, I’ll still be smiling. Because basically my head is made out of styrofoam. I’m okay with pretty much anything.
Over the four or five years of Thrift Horror’s tragic existence, there’ve been two great constants. Clowns and shell art. Thank god, we can get both of these things over at once.
Yes! A grinning abomination of pipe cleaners, fluffballs, and good old American craftsmanship! Even more horrifying, I’ve seen more than one of these–this little critter’s popped up on the Thrift Horror livejournal community before. I can only assume that some magazine somewhere said “Here’s how you make a whimsical–” no, no, it was probably fanciful. “Here’s how you make a fanciful friend out of a little glue, a few shells, and a lot of love!”
Not quite enough love to shore up the meaty flap of the poor thing’s neck, I guess the pipe cleaners shifted during shipment. I don’t doubt for an instant that this was the best possible use for that particular clown head. After six long years of being sealed in plastic wrap, watching sadly as people bought kraftstix, bead looms, floss…finally, it was saved from the discount bin, and shoved onto a conch. That’s crafts for you. Crafts can be harsh.
Bobbo the Christmas Clown from Texas Thrift on I35 near 51st, Shell Clown from Salvation Army near 620 and 183, Austin.
One Response to “Of dubious provenance”
I must agree that this seashell/pipecleaner/clown is the worst, no best, no worst, best example of craftiness beyond max.