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Keep it off the baby!

The concept is, you’ve just taken your infant out of the bathtub, and want to wrap him, or her, or possibly it (this IS the South, after all) in something warm and snuggly-soft, keep their little heads cozy, and so forth. And it really should be cute, right? Otherwise, what’s the point of HAVING a baby blanket?

2-10-08txthrifthorriddog2

So, making one in the shape of a puppy dog, you really can’t go to wrong there. It’s got all the right stuff. Plus, dogs are incredibly warm, like little hot water bottles that lick themselves. So, overall a good choice, except for the licking part.

I can’t think where the artist went wrong.

2-10-08txthrifthorriddog3

Years later, your child will be in therapy, trying to explain WHY blank-eyed corpse dogs wrap themselves around him at night, breathing carrion breath down his neck as they dab water from his body with their pancake-like faces.

He will not know why beagles with eyes like cave fish stunned by an oncoming 18-wheeler stare at him from the towel rack. He won’t know why the feeling of terrycloth makes him shudder. All he will know is “yep, it’s time for another rock-bath.”

2-10-08txthrifthorriddog1

Found at Thrift Town, Stassney and Manchacha

June 9, 2010   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized aminals, for the kids, horrors

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