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Sailing the Shell Art Sea

Avast, ye great shell-faced dogs, steer the ship leeward, and smartly now! Thar be cowries on them thar shores!

6-7-08GW183metrshells2

Oh gods, now I’m going to have nightmares about ghastly pirates with bleeding serrated mouths, floating around on a half a clam like a warped alternate dimension’s version of Botticelli’s Birth of Venus.But with skull-faced shell headed radish-like sailors necrotizing periodontitis

Okay, seriously Key West, WTF? I hope, hope HOPE HOPE, that this was some kid’s pet project. Shell art is an impressively tragic medium, but this brings it to an impossible nadir, and I do not know if I’ll be able to recover my faith in late 60s handicraft. You’ve ruined me for cowries forever, Key West. Mary, mother of God.

There is the smallest chance that this is actually representational art.

6-7-08GW183metrshells

Someone who’s been to Key West tell me–do horrid shell-demons putter around the bay in a half-conch, like witches riding in an eggshell, along the shoals of massive spiralling pillars of shell-encrusted reef? DO THEY? And when they do, do they take their official, licensed Key West oars?

In their defense, they might be trying to get away from the faceless mu-mu-demon behind them, paddling as fast as their tiny little univalve mollusk carapaces can carry them. Row! Row faster! It’s got a fruity beverage and it wants our faces!

Key West is a frightening place :(

May 27, 2010   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized horrors, shell art

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2 Responses to “Sailing the Shell Art Sea”

  1. Reply
    Pat / 20 May 2012 8:50am #

    I am amazed, speechless. I googled shell art and hit the jackpot. Did you ever find out where the Salvation Army got all the pieces of art? Love your blog.

    • Reply
      TV's Jacob / 21 May 2012 9:08am #

      I did ask about the massive flood of Shell Art from the Salvation Army, a business had gone under and donated their stock. There was about a month where every Sally in Austin was thick with the stuff.

      Terrible.

      Glad you like :)

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