Because that was when the robot Santas began their attack. At first we thought they were some sort of strange new toy, the way they bobbled around the table, running into things, occasionally their heads falling off and rolling onto the floor. Then they brought out the tiny silver disintegration rays. Which, surprisingly, wasn’t the […]
This year, I’ve decided the easiest thing to dress up as for Halloween is a Papier–mâché art project. It’s a little conceptual. If someone asks what I am, I’ll say “it’s a work in progress.” And they’ll say “….and?” Then I’ll nod smugly. That’s the plan, anyway. Mostly I’ll just hope it doesn’t rain and my mask […]
Y oy to you too, sir! And a merry oy to us all! What would have been REALLY awesome is if the nativity set on the floor contained an even smaller nativity set. And inside THAT nativity set was another one, until finally, you got to a tiny, nearly invisible nativity set, but instead of […]
“The crystal…the crystal tells me that you will eat…too much! And your children will…will…will fight over small things, like who got more little chocolates. The crystal shows me much of the holiday, much that might otherwise go unseen…you did not buy enough batteries for all the toys that will beep and make noise, and will […]
Angels! They come in swarms of thousands around Christmas, drifting in clumps through card shops, idling in Wal-Mart like flocks of chickens, and, of course, hanging out on the most celestial shelves in Goodwill. I’ve seen more headless Santas than any one man should, but there’s something whimsically tragic about a maimed angel that never […]
It’s the day after Christmas, and Santa always gets a bad case of the post-gift-frenzy blues. For one thing he’s in the north pole and it’s going to be night for like three more months. For another, no-one’s going to remember he even exists until November, which has got to be quite a downer. And […]
…And Our Lady of the Late Model Ford wishes you a blessed holiday, too. May your fenders never rust. As a thrift reporter, I make a special point never to tamper with the beautiful things I find shoved to the back of the Brick-a-Brack shelves. Luckily, some people do these things for me, and then […]
Three wise men came from the west, to bring gifts to the new-born king. Of course, they were 12 days late, but that was because the gold got massively held up in airport security, and it took most of an afternoon for them to put all their sparkly metal bits into the little plastic bins, […]
Before we get to today’s unpleasantries, just a note that starting Christmas Eve we’re going to begin a merry “12 days of Christmas” romp here in thriftland. I’ve got three years of Christmas stuff waiting in the wings–there’s some really good finds this year, so please, send the link to anyone who loves Christmas kitsch […]
I’m not sure what the true meaning of Columbus Day is. It seems to involve lots of discounts at the local auto lots. But I’ve been hoarding some very special pieces to celebrate the occasion. We’ll start with what must be the single gayest attempt at “American Indian” ever. It’s like Mr. Humphries trying out […]