From the new hit film, “Fifty Shades of Flipper.” See it in your local theater. They call him Flipper. Flipper–flipcuffs restraining, No one you see, ties knots tight as he… Although I’d be happier if there were knots in this intimate little tableaux, as opposed to just a gold chain and two mid-sternum attachment points. I didn’t […]
Well, mostly. Some of this is really more groinal humor, but it’s the same broad category. This is how lawn gnomes sleep. It’s also how they look when they die. The difference is that when a lawn gnome dies his friends use him to plant a single daisy. Sometimes a sunflower for the bigger gnomes. […]
I’m not entirely sure how to feel about this first piece. It is, almost definitionally, objectifying the female form. I’m just not entirely certain what the object is. Possibly it’s objectifying it into some sort of bottle opener, or maybe a shoehorn, some other household tool. I bet it would get great reception. But, really, […]
There’s a fine line between innocence and exploitation. When it comes to Dollar General ceramics, the line gets trampled on by a herd of cattle. I really don’t want to offer up any commentary about these for fear of seeming like a creepy sleezeball. But what the hey, I’ve already got the bowl of free […]
Except of course I’m paid by the word, and I work HARD for my $.57/week. I can only speculate that the sculptor’s intent was to show how excited the AIBO was to see its master coming home from school. And, in a sense, mission achieved, assuming you meant definition #3 of “excited.” The boy, however, […]
It’s over forty feet tall. The cows stare at it in mixed wonder and terror. In a stiff wind, it might crush the house and make Grandma blush. It’s…well, let’s just say it’s big. This would have been about 20% funnier if it had been in glassware. Trust me, the jokes just write themselves. As […]
The Christmas it snowed blood, oh, what a year that was. Grandfather would often tell us stories about those long-ago blood-christmasses, how the world was covered in a thick carpet of red gore, and when the moon shown on it just right, late at night, it was kinda…kinda horrible. We thought those special Christmasses were […]
We were clearly in for an interesting ride at the Goodwill on Lake Austin Boulevard when we rounded the corner and saw this…well, there’s no other way to put it, this tomato. Or maybe she’s an apple, all ripe with the temptation of original sin, tempting her husband to take and eat. Whatever she is, […]
Here’s the sad, sad story of the cats at the lav. When I saw this picture, I HAD to have it. It had drama. It had joy, it had anger. It had kilts. But mostly, it had cat people who really had to pee, and that, friends, is art. As it happens, my mother lives […]
Angel? Demon? Mutant? We reserve judgement. To be honest, we’re not really certain what gender we are looking at. We believe this to be a female, a female what is still one of those great unanswereds, like “Why does god allow Paris Hilton?” and “How will we overcome ADHD this week?” About the wing. It […]