Don’t make eye contact with the hat.
Don’t make eye contact with the hat.

If you encounter this hat in a corn field, it’s best just to back away slowly. Look to the ground, it may consider direct eye contact a threat or challenge for dominance. Under no circumstances should you run away from the hat, as it might attack. When you look at me with those cookie-monster eyes, […]

Blissful lack of irony
Blissful lack of irony

Some people just don’t get the joke. If you don’t get the jokes, maybe you should consider attending Madame Preninger’s School for the Unfortunately Literal. There you will learn the fine art of subtext, and the gracious habits of just letting it go. Never again will you insist on editing novelty tee shirts for factual […]

And yet, more shoes
And yet, more shoes

One unanswerable I had about this one, a robust “firefighter” style boot, is whether or not it was designed covered in a thin layer of grime. It’s not out of the question, the 80s had pre-distressed denim to answer for. Maybe these were meant to give a sense of street cred that was otherwise lacking […]

Tragically, it was the plimpsolls.
Tragically, it was the plimpsolls.

I want to say that Thriftland’s bizarre celebration of weird footwear got better. And in a sense it did, depending on how you define “better.” Or “footwear.” Maybe Pocahontas wanted to go out on the town, and possibly pursue a career as a strumpet. She’d need this shoe, and she’d say, “oh, that’s a better […]

Not equipped to judge.
Not equipped to judge.

I’m not equipped to judge these shoes. I’m not an expert in women’s footwear, and am generally in the dark on fashion as a whole. So, really, I’m one of the last people who should criticize a piece of designer footware. But I will. Oh, watch me. Now, this one isn’t really┬áthat terrible. At least, […]

Ready for winter?
Ready for winter?

Protip: When you see anything at Goodwill in multiples of 10 or 20, just avoid them. Walk away, go check out Housewares or something. Do not, under any circumstances, approach the display and take your wallet out, no matter how your heart may race. If there’s more than five of it at Goodwill, it’s a […]

We love our sepia-toned foster child
We love our sepia-toned foster child

Unless of course his NAME was Foster. I can’t tell. I just hope Camp Foster 2012 had a better photographer. I can see it now. Kid: *innocently reading* Mom: *Flashes camera and runs.* [six months pass] Kid: MOM!!! What are you WEARING?!? I’m going to kill myself now, you know, and it’ll be the only […]

Happy New Year! What shoes will you be wearing?
Happy New Year! What shoes will you be wearing?

Happy new year! Celebrate it with these vintage, “the last time the new year was cool” shoes!   If you’re shopping in November or December, It’s not only theoretically, but in fact actually, possible at any Goodwill, to make a complete outfit–even including underwear and socks–that’s from Y2K. It’s the date that never goes out […]

It’s definitely a once-a-year sort of hat.
It’s definitely a once-a-year sort of hat.

Honestly, I don’t know that this is a hat. I do know that the fine, and mentally agile, staff at Treasure City Thrift think it is, and were selling it as such. And I could imagine this hat on the most fantastically baroque witch there ever was. This witch would be magnificent. She would be […]

The world in a shoe
The world in a shoe

There is nothing in this that surprises. I sincerely doubt that nature would have ever coughed up these materials…but it wishes it had. I think it’s pretty obvious that these are the most awesome shoes in the world. When Pope Benedict slips on a pair of red brogans, he’s wishing he had these shoes. They’re […]