I’ve been backing away from “Decapitation as humor” because finding resin statues that, through the various atrocities that can befall a resin statue in Goodwill, have lost their heads is just too easy to be fun. But this one’s a clown, so that’s okay. Fun fact about merry-go-rounds–if you get a brass ring, you get […]
[Note: This was originally a guest post for Rewind Knits and Crochet. It’s been a few months so I’m posting a backdated version.] When I heard that I was being nominated as this year’s Miss August, I was thrilled. I ran to my computer, updated all my statuses–wait, wrong post. When I heard that ThriftHorror […]
This may be the single most horrifying clown I’ve ever seen. And the worst part of it is, it’s actually not that bad a paint job–but someone actually, intentionally, painted this. Maybe it wasn’t intentional. Maybe they thought, “oh, red nose. Peaked eyebrows over white eyes. Yes. Yes. This is coming along quite clownishly.” And […]
Would you pay $20 for a set of small intestines cleverly woven into a very small clown? Yes, please! I really wanted to post this to crow about a completely awesome new crapeterium that opened on Lamar and Manchacha, what a magical wonderland of crazy stuff it was, just next door to Far Out Furnishings. […]
I had previously thought that I’d seen every variation on the Thrift Shop Clown. Mutant ceramic clowns, bulbous blown-glass clowns, shell-and-macaroni clowns, acerebrated buffoons. This one was new. Just to begin with, he’s a really nasty little creature. Check out those eyebrows. It’s like he thought adding a Hitler mustache over each eye would enhance […]
Frankly, I think she’s got more important things to worry about than where she left her purse. Like that lamé dress. Seriously, that stuff went out in the late 80s. I’m not sure how you’d actually wear that. It’s thicker than a layer of cake frosting. It probably creaks. It may actually be the only […]
When you’re dealing with clowns, you have to give up on a lot of what you, as a sane, rational human, view as “normal.” “Don’t wear size 38L shoes when you’re sized for a size 10.5.” “Don’t soak your boss in seltzer water.” “Don’t put cream pies down your pants, in someone’s face, or, indeed, […]
Okay, technically this guy’s not a clown, he’s a hobo. But they fill the same basic ecological niche, as far as Aisle 14, “Miscellaneous,” goes. Clowns are really life’s worst-case scenarios, and hobos are their spiritual cousins in the thrift ecosystem. So. Leer with me now. This is the guy that showed up at the […]
So…it’s come to this. Tossed aside, locked behind glass, hair shaved off. We’ve all been there. This is rock bottom. Actually, if you’re discarded, shaved, encased, and a clown, that’s just slightly worse. I think this might be the most depressing creature I’ve ever encountered in a thrift store, she most have been pretty in […]
I had this thought that just maybe kittens would be a good way to ease back into harmony and happiness after a week of clowns, but, no, the kittens in their own special way bring their own special nightmares. Particularly when they seem to have been inexpertly resurrected after an accident involving a cast-iron skillet, an air […]