The Christmas Massacre Continues
The Christmas Massacre Continues

Yet another Christmas decapitation. This is probably a DIRECT consequence of having the entire Yuletide police force made out of elves. Friends don’t let friends be resin-cast. When you get into a car this Christmas, make sure you’re ceramic. “Giant festive cookie-man” is actually a new category for me. I don’t think I’ll set up […]

Merth Christmas! Merth Christmas, everyone!
Merth Christmas! Merth Christmas, everyone!

The dangers of a heavily-seriffed font in the wrong hands! Let that be a warning. Or, maybe you WANTED to have a merth Christmas. To each their own, I suppose. Santa and his impossibly narrow reindeer were part of a set of pencil-thin Christmas decorations–I don’t really have a better word than decorations. Sadly, both […]

Happy New Year! Time for more Christmas!
Happy New Year! Time for more Christmas!

New Year’s Day, and we’ve finally gotten the dogs to come out from underneath the sofa. Hope everybody had their requisite amounts of pyrotechnics, champagne, and black-eyed peas last night! Or at least one out of three.  This little guy’s clearly had his fill of consumer-grade explosives for the year. This WAS in the Christmas […]

Plum Pudding Man and Other Treats
Plum Pudding Man and Other Treats

Pity the man made entirely of fruitcake. Is it the bigger tragedy that he might be eaten, or that no-one will eat him? I wonder if there’s a series of these, little dudes dressed up like all the major Christmas treats. Like Ciderman (a bit like the Kool-Aid Man, though instead of bursting through your […]

A couple of one-offs
A couple of one-offs

None of these are really worth an entire post, so I’ll just throw in a few captions and call it a day… “Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor hail could stop the daily mail–but nobody was expecting Rex and Sparky’s rutherfordium-powered particle cannon.” “After we discovered Dr. Hfuhruhurr‘s new book on screw-top, zip-lock child […]

Where did PedoCorn touch you?
Where did PedoCorn touch you?

In all fairness to the artist and his/her vision—even if “vision” in this case was pulling a blank plaster unicorn off the shelf, and adding as much detail as the limited color selection and $5/hour fee would allow—I do scrounge the bric-a-brak shelves at the five-and-dim looking for things that aren’t actually suggestive. Unicorns, however, […]

Sad and hideous
Sad and hideous

Late night, in  the thrift store, they tell stories–stories like the headless horseman, or like the headless horse, or the headless, armless football player, who was technically a headless armless football-less football player, and might have actually been playing a different game entirely. Sometimes, they say, if you listen real close, you can still hear […]

It’s what’s inside that counts.
It’s what’s inside that counts.

We are assuming, here, that what’s inside is tasty, tasty cookies, because if it’s what’s outside that counts, we should send it back to remedial math. Really, you wouldn’t WANT to store dog biscuits in this jar. The dogs…the dogs would get ideas. Sure, if you had ONE dog, you could get away with it. […]

Hooked on a feeling. Vague nausea, I think.
Hooked on a feeling. Vague nausea, I think.

ooga chaka, ooga chaka! It’s been a while since we had a nice, resin-cast child here, and I think I remember why. Of all the forms resin can take when it glops and pools in the great resin-swamps east of Houston, the most obnoxious is the resin-cast child. At least, that’s what I thought. Turns […]

Apologies in advance…
Apologies in advance…

I always feel a sense of vague guilt for these posts. Not a LOT of guilt. Perhaps I should lay the guilt at the feet of the crafters themselves, but I’m not sure it would stick. Question: Why was this in the Christmas display? What part of this screams “santa” or “elf” or “good idea”? […]