Maybe I should have saved this until Halloween? It’s so hard to tell. This is either a bud vase or a petrified, ancient mushroom, or just possibly unicorn poop. You can recognize unicorn poop because of the pale ghostly color, and of course the horn, although unicorn poop rarely if ever has whole peppercorns in […]
but I bet it makes a LOT of noise. I mean, look on it. It’s 1) a clown, 2) on a unicycle, 3) and I think it’s supposed to be a five-year-old. Think of the racket. I mean, it even looks like one of those little noisemaker rattles for new years, the ones made of […]
A few random things I’d never be able to build a post around… Take, for instance, this picture. Imagine if you were an infant, and someone–I’m not saying who–your father? Maybe it doesn’t matter, your experience of reality is quite finite–anyway, this person wants to play “peek-a-boo” with you. And they’re looming after you, enormous, […]
Want to spice up your wedding night to truly salsarific levels? Think that special night isn’t going to be special enough? Consider bringing along a matador. What portends a life of marital bliss and steamy conjugal excitement more than a bullfighter? Wouldn’t the wedding be more exciting if someone drove a series of banderillas into […]
I’m pretty sure you haven’t seen one of these before. Whatever the heck it is. Wherever you’re supposed to put it, however you’re supposed to wear it, whatever appetizers you’re supposed to serve in it, you’re not prepared to face this on a Monday, so here it is. The jury is entirely out as to […]
It’s kind of like a polar bear that started melting. There’s an old “Far Side” cartoon, “God Makes the Snake,” that shows the Big Man In The Sky rolling out snakes from clay. I guess he had some leftover clay. Squish squish…squish…”I guess that’s a bear…” This bear scares me. I’ve seen my fair share […]
Well, mostly. Some of this is really more groinal humor, but it’s the same broad category. This is how lawn gnomes sleep. It’s also how they look when they die. The difference is that when a lawn gnome dies his friends use him to plant a single daisy. Sometimes a sunflower for the bigger gnomes. […]
Only it was covered in fog and soaked in lighting effects, and astronauts took it into their ship, and then the next two acts were mostly regret and screaming. In that respect, like many relationships, though most of us have to get by with fewer astronauts. This may, at first, seem innocuous. In fact it […]
Or maybe beige? Possibly not a boy at all, but some sort of cauliflower? There’s no earthy way of knowing. And I’m pretty sure that’s my grandma’s left candlestick he’s about to huff. I was wondering where that one had gotten to. Never would have thought that she’d gone and given it to the gypsy […]
This is what happens when you leave a clown in the bathtub too long. They get all puffy and bloated. I don’t know what the spots are, though. A costume can’t get an ugly skin condition…can it? I guess you could catch anything if you spent all day rubbing up against a clown. Hold onto […]