Princess of Toyland
Princess of Toyland

From her parapet high in the great tower of her Dream Castle she surveys all of her land, batteries included, batteries excluded, batteries not technically necessary. Broadly speaking, she is pleased with her domain, but once in a while her subjects¬†displease her. And then, she makes an example of them. They’ll make a really cute […]

Minimalist bear
Minimalist bear

It’s kind of like a polar bear that started melting. There’s an old “Far Side” cartoon, “God Makes the Snake,” that shows the Big Man In The Sky rolling out snakes from clay. I guess he had some leftover clay. Squish squish…squish…”I guess that’s a bear…” This bear scares me. I’ve seen my fair share […]

Eyes, horrible eyes
Eyes, horrible eyes

Wow, almost three days of spotty or no blog access! On the one hand, I don’t pay much–well, anything–for my web hosting. On the other hand, one totally gets what one pays for. Anyway… Much like the majestic sphinx, this poor fellow’s nose was removed by a French cannonball. That’s where the resemblance ends, because […]

Da Bear (part 16)
Da Bear (part 16)

Finally: Incontrovertible proof that there is a god. Because if we were in a mechanistic universe where harsh laws, fair only in that sort of Libertarian sense of the word “fair,” dispensed fates according to “survivability” and “genetic fitness” and whatnot, this little fellow would surely have been darwinned out of existence generations ago. And […]

Uncertain of what we’re caring about here
Uncertain of what we’re caring about here

I remember back in my day, the Care Bears used to stand for something. They didn’t meddle with ambiguity or moral grays, They stood for things. You know, big obvious things that you don’t really have to sell, like friendship and birthdays and such, but you knew what they represented. I’m not sure where we […]

More bears
More bears

I’ve been backing away from “Decapitation as humor” because finding resin statues that, through the various atrocities that can befall a resin statue in Goodwill, have lost their heads is just too easy to be fun. But this one’s a clown, so that’s okay. Fun fact about merry-go-rounds–if you get a brass ring, you get […]

Bleak bathing bear
Bleak bathing bear

“James…draw me a bath. It should be 128 degrees, with very precise bubbles. Oh, and it should be tragic. See if we have any of the Ophelia bath salts left. And if we don’t have a single white lily bring me the black roses again, but they’re so dreadfully Vampire: The Masquerade, I can’t take […]

A Pooh Miscellaney
A Pooh Miscellaney

One thing they learned after Christopher Robin’s tragic disappearance–never let a child play with a bear. Particularly one that just ran out of honey. When Pooh came for Roo, no-one said anything. When Pooh came for piglet, no-one said anything. When Pooh came for me, there was no-one left to say anything. Okay, not a […]

The Glory that is Pooh
The Glory that is Pooh

Turn your head. Turn your head lest his glory blind you, and melt your face like nazis staring into the Ark of the Covenant. No-one can look upon the full majesty of Pooh without coming away from it changed, transformed, or even…destroyed. Perhaps it’s for the best that he’s in a boat, otherwise his mere […]

A steady stream of pooh
A steady stream of pooh

I just took a little vacation, and came back to find a huge pile of pooh. It really builds up if you don’t clean it up. Oh…bother. I guess this skirts around being a copyright case by secretly being a mouse in a tan body suit. Or perhaps an automaton made of tasty tasty bread. […]