Tiny whales and their society
Tiny whales and their society

If the Salvation Army’s going to be infested with something, I’m glad it’s not mice. I’d take tiny whales over mice any day. Mice nibble. With tiny whales, they just occasionally get blow-hole mist all over everything. And they probably eat up all the shrimp, but it’s REALLY tiny shrimp. Ooh, that one’s got a […]

Monday Monday
Monday Monday

I have never wanted anything more in life than to smell like a Trojan’s head. I can understand the need to market men’s cosmetics in a way that makes them, well, manly. But I don’t think this was the way to go. Also, when you’re done with your eau de legionnaire be sure to donate […]

I think your rabbit’s leaking
I think your rabbit’s leaking

Oh, paint-it-yourself rabbits. You neve lead me astray. This one’s particularly runny. There was an awful lot of “not really giving a damn” at work here. Poor bunny. There’s a story from Japan about a brush, or an artist, or some such that made paintings so perfect that they’d come to life if the artist […]

Stir-fried random
Stir-fried random

A few one-offs I’d been wanting to throw into the mix, but couldn’t really get a context for…anyway, happy filler friday… Hmm. Too much torque on the old cheese slicer :(   …or maybe this was specifically designed for “chees” but that seems unlikely. His head…his head is the same shape as the balloon. He’s […]

Do not adjust your monitor.
Do not adjust your monitor.

I promise, this is not upside-down. Do you remember when your mom got you a copy of “Highlights for Children?” Or maybe you found it in the dentist’s office, there was usually a copy there on that corner shelf. I don’t know, I’m obviously not you. About halfway through there’d be a games section, and […]

No, no, NO!
No, no, NO!

You fool! You acephalic cretin! Can’t you get ANYTHING right?!? What the hell kind of preschool did we send you to, anyway? I mean, left and right? Basic color theory? What kind of garbage is that? There’s only one thing that’s worth knowing in this world. One…simple…fact. And you blew it. If life was a […]

Kill it! With fire!
Kill it! With fire!

Just when you thought it was safe to shop in the “brick-a-brak” section… In a shelf full of odds and ends, this is the oddest. Possibly the endest, but I don’t think that takes an adjectival superlative form. I think it may be a jabberwock, but it looks more like some sort of hideous harvesting […]

unpleasant meat horse
unpleasant meat horse

There are some things–chief among them clowns, but I would also include my 3rd grade teacher–that exist just to terrify children into a sense of vague catatonia, where playing, talking, really, any gerund, becomes a source of trama. Best not to do anything, just sit and rock back and forth and have fear. Unpleasant meat […]

The most disgusting thing.
The most disgusting thing.

In the like seven years of Thrifthorror, I have never quite been as grossed out by anything as this critter here. Excluding the occasional used sex toy but that’s practically cheating. It was, of all things, an owl. This was not just any owl. It was a magical, crusty owl, with special, magical crusty powers. […]

Amiable ceramic lumps
Amiable ceramic lumps

We feel that these have a strong 60s craft vibe. They aren’t, as far as I know, but they couldn’t exist in a universe that couldn’t ironically reflect on 60s craft. Their natural habitat is in a “Card & Quill” shop, or maybe a teacher’s desk. You know, that teacher. The one who smelled of […]