From the new hit film, “Fifty Shades of Flipper.” See it in your local theater. They call him Flipper. Flipper–flipcuffs restraining, No one you see, ties knots tight as he… Although I’d be happier if there were knots in this intimate little tableaux, as opposed to just a gold chain and two mid-sternum attachment points. I didn’t […]
Was anything ever improved by painting it on black velvet? It didn’t work for Elvis. And it didn’t work for Donald, either. What’s not to love. It’s ducks carved out of some strange duck dimension with an ice cream scoop, weird random solid forms come together to create a state of low-threat copyright infringement. The […]
Collectible teapots. They’re presumably a thing. When I went to the big retail gift marts I’d see them by the shelf. They’d look like flowers. Like sexy celebrities. Like food. Just so many. But they never really looked like something you’d want to pour tea out of. Take Mrs. Chipmunk here. If that happened to […]
Is that the word? Because a heptopod really isn’t a thing as far as I know, and a sextopod sounds like something from the late 60s/early 70s that you’d have to hose out once a week or so. I bet these sound horrible on a tile floor. “clickclackclickclackclickclackSQUEEEEEEEE”. Pigs sound pretty horrible anyway, now combine […]
So I don’t actually know how many times I saw Creepshow when I was a kid. Five or six times, for sure. It was the early 80s, I was 10 or so and poorly supervised, and I had a VCR. now, if you’re not familiar with Creepshow, it’s an anthology horror film based on those old […]
This…this is a useful metaphor. No matter how safe you feel in your pope-style force bulletproof bubble, even the one with the padded floor, the only sure thing is that we’ll all fall off our big brass hook–okay, it gets a little muddled, not sure what that means–and lose a leg. Maybe it’s behind the couch. […]
Not to judge anybody’s Christmas celebration, but…I notice they waited until after unwrapping a few presents before getting to the big, struggling, whimpering one. You know, the one that was tied shut and had no air ventilation. Okay, I know this is supposed to be a cute, faintly Norman Rockwellian moment, but this would only […]
My partner is painting the spare bedroom now, and occasionally I hear crashes. So I’m going to be hiding behind my monitor now, and meditating on the subject of bad DIY painting. It’s kind of a recurring theme. Meet Little Lord Fauntleroy. Actually, that’s a dinosaur behind him, so he’s TITANIC Lord Fauntelroy, towering over […]
Every time I see this image, I’m just a little bit disturbed by it. I know dogs pretty well, we occasionally go visit them at the humane society and take them for a walk, have three of them. Never once have I seen them balance their heads quite like this. There’s something missing here…like an […]
My dog has produced the most extraordinary quantity of poop in the last 24 hours, and my nerves are a little bit shot now after dealing with it. As it happens, “several small pieces of crap” kind of summarizes my Flickr gallery right now though, so happy Friday. You may already be a winner. That […]