Those eyes. Those “come-hither, then back away slowly” eyes.
You could, seriously, cut yourself on those eyelashes. Drag queens look at them and say “…oh, that’s a bit much innit?”
Of course, the eyelashes, and maybe the fun little “Bollywood dance move” pose, are the only things that are remotely fabulous about this little guy–the rest of him is hat happens when you try to make a teddy bear out of cigarette ash and beard stubble. Just a sad, confused face staring out of a dustpan body, fluttering its eyes and saying, “love me?”
And the universe said, no.
Hair by Eddie Munster.
The natural life cycle of this is 1) buy at florist, 2) give to teacher, who 3) looks sadly at it for the better part of a year (she really wanted a pony), and then 4) gets donated to Goodwill when she thinks you’ve graduated. Fun game: go back to middle school years later and ask Mrs. Uttsman where she put the apple-shaped flower vase you gave her six years ago went. The uncomfortable silence is well worth the mileage.
Poor thing. Looking back on this–it’s been a few years–I can’t remember whether this is intentional or not. Although the almanac says that if you can plant your geraniums inside an actual bear, they’ll bloom like nobody’s business…
Round Rock Goodwill