If you encounter this hat in a corn field, it’s best just to back away slowly. Look to the ground, it may consider direct eye contact a threat or challenge for dominance. Under no circumstances should you run away from the hat, as it might attack.
When you look at me with those cookie-monster eyes, I just melt.
This was a happy find. Not the least because it was a goofy hat with a big damn smile, but also because there was so much going on. This is a fine example of hot glue gone horribly, horribly…right.
Some days you wake up, stumble into the bathroom, look at yourself in the mirror, and think…
Is that a scarecrow glued to my face? What the hell did I DO last night? I hope I had a good time…
A touch of realism. I like it.
Given the huge amount of excess already on this thing, I really wonder what used to be glued here. A pumpkin? A cornucopia? Three turkeys howling? The mind wobbles.
I don’t know, man, I think it’s some sort of tarantula. Or maybe a cheerleader’s pompom, for the fighting tarantulas. Goooooo, Spiders!!
You probably hang this on the door to scare away trick-or-treaters. They go to the door, see this thing on it, and think “If I go here they’re going to throw an unwrapped candy apple in my bag, and it’s going to be covered with straw and/or cat hair. I’m not ready for this level of commitment.
Go on. Go to the next house. There’s nothing you want here, only misery and “Dum-Dums.”
Goodwill on 183 and Metric, Austin
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