(I’m so sorry for my frequent absences lately, I was working on a Kickstarter project which ate my entire life for about three months. That project is wrapping up now, thank goodness! Back to your regularly scheduled ceramic clowns.)
We secretly replacedÂ this high school geography class’sÂ map of the world with this picture of feet. Let’s see who notices…
You probably have foot-gnomes. 97% of people do have foot gnomes. They’re harmless, just kind of creepy.
You might have them. But you’re probably wearing socks right now, so you’d never know it. They only come out when you’re wearing socks. Or on Kirlian auric podographs. The Walmart on Parmer and I35 has an auric podograph, but I don’t recommend it, because once you’re aware of the gnomes, you can never go back.
The theory, this time, is that in Vatican City you can buy band-aids with pictures of various popes and saints on them, but they’re printed with really crappy ink, so after a few hours, you just get a blurry, smudged martyr on your plantar wart. On the other hand, you can get an almost perfect transfer of St. Vidicon on your Tiva, so that’s kind of cool.
“The order of the foot embraces you, and forgives all sins. If you are aching, we will massage you. If you are dusty, we will wash you. If you have been crushing grapes for three hours to make wine, brother, bring the bottle opener.”
I…I don’t know what happened there at the bottom. But it looked like it hurt.
Goodwill on 2222 and Lamar, Austin