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Not equipped to judge.

I’m not equipped to judge these shoes. I’m not an expert in women’s footwear, and am generally in the dark on fashion as a whole. So, really, I’m one of the last people who should criticize a piece of designer footware.

But I will. Oh, watch me.

3-24-12ThrftLndShoes7

Now, this one isn’t really that terrible. At least, it’s nothing to write home about. Think of it as an aperitif. Imagine turning the aisle at Thrift Land and seeing row upon row of gaudy, ill-matched and strange shoes. No theme beyond a certain level of kitsch. No pattern beyond, well, snakeskin. It was like Cinderella, but if Prince Charming had seen these on the steps of the palace, he would have said, “eh, pass…” and the story would have been much shorter.

Although “pink” and “studs” should really only come together in a gay parody band name,

No, the star is yet to come. And she is magnificent. “Sunset Lizard in Bondage,” please take your turn on the runway. Turn carefully, that heel looks tricky.

3-24-12ThrftLndShoes4

That’s one ankle that’s NEVER going to escape. Later, a collector of film memorabilia snapped this one up to round out his collection of props from Snake Women of Mars. It was a good day all around.

Now, I’m not going to say any one shoe in this collection was particularly horrible. Well, this one is. No, it’s more the effect of a full aisle of them. Anyway…more Wednesday.

 

December 16, 2013   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized don't wear that!

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2 Responses to “Not equipped to judge.”

  1. Reply
    goodwill ex-employee / 18 Dec 2013 8:02pm #

    $24.99 for the pair of pink nightmares? And, is that an “anti-theft” tag on those (F)Uggs? I want whatever the person that priced those was smoking!

  2. Reply
    Sarkiran / 23 Dec 2013 4:52pm #

    I’ll take the Sunset Lizard in Bondage shoes in an instant – love that scale pattern, just not on a shoe!

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