After a while, you start to get jaded. You realize that certain things really aren’t actually funny. A shelf of Goodwill filled with Depends…not, believe it or not, funny. Those little cream-colored, big-eyed figurines from the 70s that say things like “best mom” or “I love you this much”…not, remotely, funny. Probably not even when Hallmark started carrying them.
And things that are broken.
My theory, though, is that if you pile up a LOT of them, they magically become funny. Testing this now.
With some minimal photoshop, this could be even funnier. Think of the celebrities you could substitute for the ball. Presidential candidates? Irritating teen heartthrobs? Bono?
Re: this next photo, there were PLENTY of reasons Dickensian England was not a good place to be. Cholera, a cumbersome judicial system, crushing poverty, whist. Haunted apple carts rank pretty low on the list.
Remember, if you don’t buy a match from the little match girl, the authorities CONFISCATE HER HEAD. It happens. But in the dark future of 1878 decapitation is no barrier to a constructive day’s labor. Move those apples…forever.
Dark Masters! Take this pig which, lo, I have painted in a merry holstein pattern, as an offering unto you! Take her or possibly him as a worthy sacrifice, that you might restore my head! Please?
Goal! from Savers on South Lamar, Headless Apples from Round Rock Goodwill, Cowpig Rituals from Salvation Army near Metric and 183, Austin.