What would you call an entire subculture devoted to this sort of thing? Bulbies? Lampies? That looks too much like some kind of horrible deep-water fish.
No part of this is a good idea. I mean, sure, lamps can kick, but you give one the ball, he takes 20 steps, there’s a tackle, and GLASS SHARDS EVERYWHERE. Worse, if you were using one of those compact florescents, everybody gets mercury poisoning and dies or goes insane, leading to a “Caligula”-like period of cruel decadence in the PE department lasting until one of the volleyball team stabs someone else in the back to end their reign of mad hedonism, and then the school board cuts program funding, and we’re reduced to dodgeball and badminton.
Which is why you don’t want lamps playing football. It’s not prejudice, it’s foresight.
This next one makes me sad. And might be NSFW, I don’t know.
But this feels like some sort of horrible emblem of old age, your bulb’s fallen out and your switches are hanging below your knees. Just give up and switch to LEDs, sure they’re young, but isn’t that what the world demands?
Runningbulb from Goodwill on Lake Austin Boulevard west of the river, sad old lamp from Savers on Burnet and North Loop, Austin