Honestly, I feel bad sometimes that the majority of Thrifthorror posts are basically making fun of preteen art, and really, who among us was a master craftsperson at age six? So I treasure the occasional commercial product that is freakishly weird enough for inclusion. Like the head wizard.
Now, the head wizard, in its natural form, is a quirky little scalp massager. Does it have magical powers? Perhaps, perhaps not. It does vibrate, which might have been seen in medieval times as some sort of alliance with Satan, but now, not so much. If you visit their website, it’s really not that peculiar. It’s the post-market additions that really sing.
The Savers Head Wizard…him I would not want on my scalp.
Like some sort of strange jellyfish, or a particularly boneheaded monster from Dungeons and Dragons, the Head Wizard (Uncommon, City/plains, % appearing in Lair: 40%) drifts along passively, until it’s able to find its pray and latch on. In a manner of minutes–well, months–it vibrates its pray to death, and then proceeds to devour its kill.
One head wizard isn’t really that big a deal, but they used to come in drifts of hundreds. At least until they were all but driven to extinction during the copper shortage of the aughts. Now, if you see a single, maimed specimen like this one, you’re one of the lucky few.
Savers on north Lamar, Austin