So, I discovered “Adventure Time” this week.
When you get right down to it, no princess is really happy until she’s filled, totally filled, with dimes. That’s what royalty is about.
You can even see how close they are to being full, because royals have large, transparent bellies. You can generally judge the health of a nation’s economy by how close to full their monarch is.
Something about this shared princess moment feels weirdly voyeuristic. As if she’s pulled her gown aside so we can view her spare change. She even dressed up for it. She’s wearing her special levitating crown AND her best lips.
You can almost imagine the artist giving up, right….there. “Sod this, I’m not paid enough to do lips.”
Abnormally rosy cheeks? Buboes? Headlights? Her warm, healthy glow and serene expression is clearly a lie, as she was BORN WITHOUT LIPS. A rare defect that, like hemophilia, was common in noble families. At least, the quieter ones.
Well..maybe that cute little curve was actually her lips, and some joker gave her a spare. Lady, those lips do not flatter you. Delipify yourself.
This only gets worse when seen from the back, where we get a clear view of the princess’s hungry coin orifice. I’m really not comfortable with this, and thankful that I live in a democracy, where we’ve managed to overthrow our strange, conical slot-necked tyrants and replace them with…uh…
Oh well, at least it’s Friday.