Wake the troops and sound the bunny drums!
Look into those eyes. Those…empty eyes. Bunny lives to drum. In fact, bunny has been drumming for two days straight, and occasionally, bunny drums at 3:00 AM. For this is what bunny’s life has become. One endless drum solo.
boom. boom. boom. boom. boom. boom. boom. boom.
On the plus side, he won’t be suffering long, because while everyone’s child is a unique and precious snowflake…
rabbits are nothing if not replaceable.
The ironic problem: what to do if your entire body is a buffet of delightful veggies? It’s the “Homer Simpson/Forbidden Doughnut” dilemma. The Greek Gods did this sort of thing, usually to punish hubris. Like, turning someone into a spider for saying they could weave and spin better than the gods.
I’m not sure what a bunny could possibly do to deserve this. They’re not, generally, very prideful, and not prone to blaspheming, as far as I know.
And yet the gods have seen fit to transform one into radishes, leeks and corn. The gods, basically are sadistic jerks.
“Let’s see how long he can go without eating his feet. Oooh, one of his friends found him! This is going to be HILARIOUS, trust me!”
“Ooh! Next, turn a dog into porkchops and have it rain barbecue sauce!”
“Booyah!”
“At least…at least the foxes probably won’t eat me. They’ll just lick the butter off.”
Drum-Bunny from Goodwill and Parmer, corn-bunny from Goodwill near Anderson Mill and 183, Austin
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