When was the last time you thought about how cheap the afterlife could be? I know, as a staunch traditionalist, it isn’t going to be a funeral unless I have my organs taken out and stuffed into canopic jars. But that’s expensive, and I can barely afford my yacht payments on the weekly dividends from Thrifthorror. So I can’t tell you how glad I was to find this gem.
Yes, a cheap, cheap place to store yourÂ kem. Or perhaps yourÂ bah. Or maybe just your liver, which might or might not be yourÂ bah,Â or your car keys, which probably aren’t yourÂ kem but might possibly get you into the afterlife anyway, I hear Anubis is kind of a vintageÂ VolkswagenÂ freak.
This is sealed, so I couldn’t look inside it to see what mysteries it held. It’s not very well sealed, though, so I’m pretty sure I would have noticed if it had liver.
I don’t know what part of the body or soul I’d entrust to a froofy vase covered with plums. I’d probably get laughed right out of the pyramid, I’d be on thin ice anyway after the penguin jug.
I can’t read this. I can’t even try. I think the last line says “enjoy a cup of our fine coffee with a snub-nosed woodthrush,” but I can’t be sure.
Dignity. Egyptian funerals were all about the dignity. Even if this guy more like Gonzo the Great than the Ibis-headed god Thoth, I’d forgive it for the $4.99 pricetag. And maybe Thoth had put on some weight. In his nose. These things happen.
It’s not that I’m judging you,Â per se, just that I’m looking in your direction and you happen to be extremely judgeable.
Goodwill on 2222 and Lamar, Austin
2 Responses to “Death.”
Yeah, you have to go to New Orleans the Sunday afternoon before Carnival Day and attend the Thoth Parade. Dozens of floats, all throwing ibis cups, doubloons, and beads. None look as crappy as this though
O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?,Right here my friends,right here.