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Enigmatic Bottles: Dog juice

Protip: never put anything involving personal hygiene into any container what looks like a dog. Just don’t. No-one ever says “As fresh as a dog,” or “tidy, like the order Canidae.” Because they’re drooley, messy, and smell, well, like dogs.

But if you do, be a dear and give the poor creature its head.

4-30-11GWmetrdog1

Looking at the bottle, I’m thinking “hand soap.” For some reason, there’s been a rash of headless bottles that once were topped by push/dispense spigots, and for some reason people lose their spigots, and then, for some other reason they donate, like, headless frogs to Goodwill, “maybe this will remind someone of their beloved pet, who didn’t have a head,” sort of thing. I still haven’t figured out why Goodwill keeps trying to sell them. Maybe it’s a part of their 401(c)3 status. Or a curse they picked up when they stiffed an ancient retailer that was either Satan, Death, St. Peter, or Jesus (depending on your mythology.)

4-30-11gwmetrdog2

“You dare take the pricetag off an item and bring it to the front counter, and ask how much it costs? Now you shall stay behind this very counter until you sell a decapitated dog bottle!”

Which is pretty harsh. I hope he at least took a few years of purgatory off their sentence, because dealing with the mess those kids made in the toy section has got to be kind of like pushing a boulder up hill forever.

He looks a lot like my brother’s dog, though. And really reminds me why the court won’t let my brother have pets.

Goodwill on 183 and Metric, Austin

September 18, 2012   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized bottles

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6 Responses to “Enigmatic Bottles: Dog juice”

  1. Reply
    john / 18 Sep 2012 1:09pm #

    Is this the cologne from fake snl commercial where the guy makes out with the dog at the end?

  2. Reply
    TV's Jacob / 18 Sep 2012 1:15pm #

    John–I hadn’t gone there, but only because I hadn’t seen the commercial. Had I seen this commercial, then yes. A hundred times yes.

  3. Reply
    Patricia / 18 Sep 2012 2:09pm #

    Brother!

  4. Reply
    Rose / 3 Oct 2012 4:06pm #

    Nothing weird about this. It’s a somewhat collectible Avon bottle circa 1970s or thereabouts. (I say ‘somewhat’ because they seem to show up at thrift stores, sans head, rather frequently.) Anyway, they did a whole series of dog shaped perfume and after shave bottles.
    Run a google image search on, “Noble Prince German Shepherd” to see this bottle with the head.

  5. Reply
    TV's Jacob / 3 Oct 2012 4:27pm #

    Fair enough, Rose :) I assumed it was mass-produced, I was mostly amused by the decapitatedness of it…granted, decapitated and thrift store are a pretty common combination! But yes, you’re right, that sort of thing’s not that uncommon. I was thinking of making a long post about mildly funny bottles, it would have been better in a sequence, I think. Not one of the better posts.

  6. Reply
    TV's Jacob / 3 Oct 2012 4:29pm #

    That being said, I love learning more about this stuff, and I didn’t know the vague decade or the Avon-ness of its province :) Thanks!!

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