Because otherwise, it’d be a dog, and that’s not as fun to say.
I’m trying to remember if I ever heard anyone say “As white as fruck’s teeth” or “happy as a fruck.” And I’m in the south, we’re all about the crazy similes here.
So I’m pretty sure that, if there were frucks in our swamps, lakes, and rivers, and they did smile like that, we’d have at least one goofy adage about them. But no, they have not left their fruck tracks on our language. The only trace we have of them is a single, Frankensteinien piece of DIY art. I haven’t even seen unpainted versions. In fact, given the amount of mass-produced plaster crapola that turns up on Goodwill’s shelves, the only miracle is there haven’t beenÂ more frucks. But no, this is the only one.
And, really, I’m okay with that. He’s clearly eyeing me up to sell me a used car. Or possibly an insurance policy, as if the AFLAK duck were a hideous crossbreed of amphibian and waterfowl with a winning smile. I don’t know what’s wrong with this world, that it could produce a fruck, but at least there’s some mercy that it hasn’t, as far as I know, produced more than one fruck.
Goodwill south of Anderson Mill on 183, Austin