Okay, file this one under “not a horror.” But it was a quirky journey into someone’s devotional space, and I was glad to have the ride! Unfortunately the pictures just…didn’t turn out, I was snapping photos of a tiny piece of art under a thick smudgy bottle and my camera’s the Cannon budget special, so…please use the power of your imagination and come with me :)
Someone, somewhere, has managed to bottle the Jesus experience. If only we could uncork it and smell the heady vapors of Christ’s last days, we’d be whisked in a single breath to ancient Israel, a land of…well, mostly balsa and popsicle sticks. But it’s still heady. But…don’t uncork it. No, save the Jesus for paying customers. You’ll let all the Messiah out. Just trust that it smells a bit like myrrh and a bit like Elmer’s wood glue.
I dunno, I always want to be impressed by angels. I’d like it if they gnashed their teeth and wailed a bit, showed a sense of occasion. No, the artist picked those darn beatific cherubs, they get all the spotlight. They’re so, eh, “no, no, wait, this is going to be GREAT, everybody’s going to think he’s dead, but…*snrk* just wait. Oh God, you’re going to love the look on Peter’s face! He’ll be all, ‘oh no you didn’t, Jesus!'” Show some sense of occasion, guys. Girls. Androgynes.
The thing in the foreground isn’t a Mario gold question mark box, BTW, it’s a playing card. Because of the dice. And Jesus’s cloak and all. Really, it’s the entire moment in a bottle. It’s all there!
See? Oh, someone rolled a one. Is that good? Dibs on Jesus’s…uh…yeah, he traveled kind of light. Anybody got any cards?
This entire area is overrun by soggy peat moss, for some reason. I’m not really sure why. It’s a bit of a subtropical sort of desert. Maybe it’s soaked up all the myrrh, that stuff was all over the place.
I’m guessing we’re riffing on the “hanged between two criminals” part of the story here. They were, for the record, really tiny criminals. Actually they were lawn gnomes sentenced to a slow, painful death. Probably for stealing acorns, or very small heresies.
Best…crucifixion…ever. They were talking about the decorations for months. The pink flower bouquets and the little green flags? Adorable! And who brought the mynah bird? Who taught it to sing ‘Nearer My God to Thee’? Priceless!”
So…I know the story pretty well, I understand the rooster, the dice, the horrid little cherubs. I don’t understand the egg whisks. Were they part of the story? On the third day, he made a meringue? I don’t know.
Anyway, those of you that are still speaking to me on Friday, we’ll see you then :)
Goodwill on 183 and Burnet, Austin